Why does my boyfriend want space?

My ex and I have only been together almost 5 months. I know it’s short but right when I met him we hung out the one night, two days later we were together. Within two weeks we found ourselves saying we loved eachother and meant it. He told everyone you just don’t let girls like me go, wanted to get married, and even got me a promise ring which he said would upgrade to an engagement ring this summer. I gave him everything he could ever want…sex was excellent, I made all three meals and catered to my man because he took care of me. He shows lots of love and affection all the time. A month and a half ago he moved into my parent’s home after we decided we were going to get a place together. Our move in date was going to be June 16th. Furniture has been picked out as well as other things and we were so happy. Just last week he was talking about how he loved me and couldn’t wait to move in, marry me, have kids later, etc. All of a sudden he comes home Friday and was talking about he wants space and some time apart. Doesn’t know what he wants. He moved his things out on Monday and gradually he has called like once in each morning but we kept our convos. short. He works with my cousin and was saying I “smothered” him when he was the one that wanted to be with me every second of the day. He says my insecurities drive him crazy and he’s 23 and doesn’t need this stress. How can you promise things and just let them go like that? I’m so confused and don’t understand. I want to just get over it and move on but I don’t know if he’s gonna try to come back. I don’t want to cancel the furniture and the apartment but I just don’t know. Of course I’m not gonna sit around and wait but he just won’t sit and talk with me yet. One last thing, he takes steroids and does a lot of one of the kinds. He says I’m the moody one…watch out now! Please help! I love him and I just don’t know how to give someone “space”.

Answer #1

my boyfriend just told me tonight that i am smothering with him and i couldn’t believe it. it came out of no where. i thought he loved the way i always show y love towards him. i am naturally a very affectionate person and when i love someone i like to show it and mean it. he told me he does love the way i love him but to just turn it down a haalf a notch. i tried not to become angry when he was telling me this. i told him i was glad he talked about it with me since it was bothering him. he also told me that if he didnt talk about ti with me and change the way i acted all of the time, he might just flip out one day & never want to talk to me again. im so confused. i love him but i was a little offended by him telling me that. kinda changed my whole perspective on the relationship. but i really love him so im going to try to be a BIT less smothering but still not changing myself as a person or the amount of love i have for him.

Answer #2

maybe he did something bad and felt horrible, found something horrible out, or just realized he wasnt ready?

Answer #3

Don’t cancel the furiture or the apartment, move out on your own and start your own life. Except I’d recommend getting a different apartment so he doesn’t know where you are.

A person on drugs is unpredictable and most importantly unstable. People on drugs are also impulsive with addictive personalities and tend to have attention deficit problems. He acted impulsively with you, ran hot hot hot, then he went away when fear of responsibility came into the picture. You are a victim of his addiciton. If you go back to this guy, then you are volunteering yourself to be a victim again. Then at that point, you are no longer a victim, you are just a fool.

So, if you can choose to be a fool and open your heart and life to him again, only to be hurt and disappointed when he again proves his unreliability to you. Or, you can choose the path of learned wisdom. Surround yourself with healthy, stable people. Then consider this one heck of a huge bullet dodged with thig gue and make a date with a new guy who doesn’t do drugs.

Family and home and children–that will all come to you. It’s possibly one of the easiest things in life to attain. Anyone and everyone who wants kids and a husband gets it. It’s not this big elusive dream awarded only to the rich and famous. So luckily, you are able to choose the time you’re ready to have these things and it will come. Just settle down, enjy your youth and freedom and learn who you are. Then worry about finding the perfect man that you can care for who will care for you as well.

Answer #4

I wish I knew the anwser to that question myself. I am going through the same thing and I have know my man for 8 years. We have been best friends for all these years. We started off as friends and sexual partners but never were together as a couple and I ended up getting married and had several children and he knew all this already. We started dating in December as a couple and now he complains about everything. I am still married and seperated and now he’s mad that I am still married and he constantly wants me to change something. He never thinks that he might be doing something wrong as well. It takes two for everything and I am always told now that he does not think that he can handle my situation that it is to much for him. He knew from the begginning everything and he still took me on. I believe the problem with us is that he is 40 years old and I am only 27 and have it to rough for him to handle. He wants some women his age i’m sure one that does not have all the children I have and less stress,someone who is laid back and ready to be in chill mode. The problem with this for he and I is that he has never been married and no kids and I have 5 so their is no rest at all .

Answer #5

My boyfriend has told me recently that I have been smothering him. I am a very affectionate person, especially to him. I always want him to know that I love and care for him unconditionally, and by touching him and telling him I love him is part of how I show that. We have been together over a year, and our romance definitely isn’t what it used to be. We have extremely stressful lives, and I feel like it is getting in the way of our relationship. I am understanding to his concerns about me smothering him, but also quite offended. I feel like I am wrong for showing him love when he says things like this. I don’t want this to turn into a fight, but I’m hurt by this and extremely confused. I know he loves me, and we want to take the next step and move in together; as far as I know he still wants to. I love him so much and I will do anything to keep him in my life… he is the man I was meant to be with, and he is my soulmate. Maybe this is a rough patch because he’s stressed to the max. AHHH!!!

  • in love and confused.
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