What if I've been seeing my ex but he has a girlfriend?

Me and my ex were together for 7 years and split up .We didn’t communicate for 1 year and a half..He is with someone else they don’t live together and he says he feels nothing for her like he did for me..so he says..We have been having sx and spending time together for the last 4 months..He says he still loves me and has never fallen out of love with me..but he is scared to leave his current girlfriend and he is scared of what his family will think if we get back together…they like to back stab people…I love him so much and have dated a few people after we split but nothing compares to pur love…His daughter and my 3 kids know about us seeing each other and they really want us back together..He was like a dad to my kids and i was like a mom to his kids..I don’t know how long I can stand to be the other woman..We have always had awesome sx together and very comfortable with each other in all ways..The reason for us breaking up is his family mainly his sister..to body is ever good enough for him and she always gets in the middle of his relationships. I don’t know what to do please help!!!

Answer #1

Sorry this is so long, but i have alot on the subject

I hate to be the barer of news here but, this situation is going to go NOWHERE! You are his comfort zone, and he is just using you for sx, nothing more! Sx with an ex only messes with peoples emotions.because there is this whole… “does this mean we are getting back together” thing? Ex’s are Ex’s usually for a good reason. Go and find a new partner. Why make the same old mistake over again? Relationships break down for a reason. If you couldn’t get along with the ex before, what makes you think having sx with them is going to change things? It didn’t before… its not going to now! Sx doesnt keep a relationship, and it doesnt bring them back!!

Your first thought should not be about the place your ex will hold in your future. Focus on healing yourself. Take time to reflect on the relationship and learn the inevitable lessons that arise from that experience. Use your support network to heal emotionally. Use exercise, hobbies and your favorite activities to keep yourself physically active. In most cases, you can’t rely on your ex to help you recover or find closure. Fix yourself first.

First of all, in most cases men have no reason to remain emotionally close with an ex except to keep the door open. They don’t like to spend emotional energy, and only do so for someone they want to be with. With exes, the emotional energy spent is multiplied and the man has even less reason to remain close unless he has other intentions. This at best is unfair to her new partner. Secondly, remaining close with an ex only increases doubt and mistrust in the mind of a new partner. This is especially true for men. We know how other men think, so we can see right through the ex’s attempts to be “friends” with her. This can be extremely painful for women, because men know what is going on, but the woman is oblivious.

Ask yourself the following questions:

  1. Will having s*x with my ex cause emotional pain?
  2. Is my ex trying to use s*x as a way of getting back into a relationship?
  3. Will I be repeating the same patterns of the past with this person by opening up the sexual door?
  4. Will I be betraying any promises to myself by allowing this person into my life again, if even in a s*xual capacity?
  5. How will having s*x with my ex cause me to feel afterwards?
  6. Are my motives purely physical, or is there something more?
  7. Will having s*x with this person help me to create a sense of closure or a misguided sense of connection?
  8. Am I having sx with the person because of repressed feelings of guilt for breaking off the relationship? If your answers to these questions have given you pause for concern, sx with your ex may not be the wisest choice. It is easy to allow a physical attraction to a person to get in the way of good judgment. So how can you mentally say “No” when your body and heart are crying out “Yes”? Try to remember the reasons you decided to break off the relationship with your ex in the first place. Ask yourself if having sx with your EX will open up a “Pandora’s Box” of emotional heartache. Keep focusing on the reasons as to why you ended the relationship and then stick to your guns. Don’t be afraid to tell your ex-partner that you want to keep the relationship non-sxual. Be forewarned however, this may cause them to want you more. If the person cannot accept your wishes then avoid contact with them. By conducting a little self-fidelity, you can protect yourself from being hurt by having “s*x with your ex”. In time you will meet someone new and build the relationship of your dreams!
Answer #2

Dear letstalk58, The key here is that you stated his sister broke you two up…well, then he chose his families opinions over yours. This is a very bad sign and the future with this man would be nothing but a booty call. If no one is good enough for him why does he have a girlfriend? Seems like they are accepting of her. You need to see the downfalls of this relationship for there are many. Stop being used and seek out a man who will make you the center of his world no matter what. No matter how you look at it you’re the one being used. Sue…good luck

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