How to handle attraction to a married man?

Don’t things seem more interesting if you want something that you can’t have?

If he’s married he has probably told you about problems here and there with his wife. And you think, how you would treat him better. -Its something all couples go through.

Maybe he even prefers to talk to you over his wife? -Men look for female friends so someone can sympathize their issues with. Other male friends don’t.

Would he leave her for you?

Another question for you… Put yourself in his wifes shoes. You have a husband you love. You get into arguments sometimes. But you love him anyway. Wouldn’t it break your heart if you found out that he was talking to another female about your problems? Trust me its ok to have friends of the opposite sex. But its one thing with a married man. If he says he would leave her for you then good for you guys. But be a true friend and lead him to do right, not wrong. Hope this helps! :)

YOur collegue probably has children. Hands off, go find yourself a single man. In all probability if he knew how you felt you probably wouldn’t be phone pals much longer!!! Find yourself a hobby to draw your attraction away from him. Good Luck!!!!!

you quit your job and you tell him to get a divorce.

I think you should look for someone who respects you more.

I am not going to be as judgemental. However, I will say this: give yourself a break. A real one I mean. Break off from him temporarily. As any other ‘sickness”, or fever, this one may subside too once a few days/week have passed. I would say, give yourself a month. No contact unless is absolutely necessary. A month is nothing for true love - if this is indeed love and not just a passing thing. However, a month of detachment should give you enough air to see the situation more clearly. If you still want this man, then give yourself an honest prep speech: 95% he will never leave his wife, 99% all the problems he claims he is having are problems he’s willing to live with otherwise he would have already left. Do not for a second think you have the power to change his behavior in his relationship. You do not. You can only, if you’re strong enough, accept you will have to share a man with another woman. Thousands of miles of printed ink have been spent on the reasons why you may want and should not share man with another, but who cares, really? Your life is your own, and living following other people suggestions and advice may lead to a very artificial, unauthentic life, like the one he is leading now. Poor man, he may have got married precisely because millions of people told him that’s the thing to do at a certain age. For may of us, marriage is not the right thing, but too few of us stop to think about it and go with the flow. Anyway, back to your speech to self: remember that love is also sacrifice, so, if you love him, you will have to bite down a lot of bitter bites besides the sweet ones. Just like in a marriage, with the exception that he will not introduce you to his parents and you may not have his kids. You will have to be exceptionally unclinging and indipendend, be sure you have a life which is at least 3/4 full without him. You will have to be much stronger then a wife. But you will have no routine, no boredom and the ability tobe a true friend to your man without having to pick up his socks from the floor. That alone is quite a bonus IMHO!!! Do not be jealous, let him go and come back. be there for him but do not let him take advantage of you. You love him him, but you are your own woman. Do not turn into Anna Karenina, unless there are no train tracks in your neighborhood… be happy and enjoy love, which, in your case, will have to do a lot with giving and real friendship, and not so much with bills and responsibilities. Do not try to hurt his wife: she has nothing to do with you two. Do not allow him to saddle you with his sobbing faily story: your time is yours.

I do not want sound judgmental, as anyone can get a bit carried away emotionally with somebody they find attractive (and work can be a catalyst for this), but my advice is to simply back off immediately - no texting, no phoning and no meeting up except in the most formal of office settings where you must. He will get the message and, if he is any sort of gentleman, will stand back as well because he will know things cannot go further because he is already taken. You are asking this question but in your heart you undoubtedly know the answer - he is not free to reciprocate and too much heartbreak and misery can only be the outcome. Although it is hard to do - think of his wife (and kids if he has any) who have done nothing to deserve treachery, and don’t allow your desire to override common sense and self-respect. It will be difficult but go find yourself a single, emotionally available man. If you go any further with a cheater then he may do the same to you eventually.

Um….you stop being his phone and text buddy becos soon that will lead to sex buddy!!!! you know better than to mess with someone who is taken, think if you were married or had a bf how you would feel if you found out he was calleing and texting another women regularly, you wouldnt like it so think how his poor wife must feel being kept in the dark about her flirting husband. You wouldnt like looking like a fool so dont make her feel that way, keep away from him.