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Is my relationship falling apart?
Me and my boyfriend have been going out for 5 months now. He is 17 and I am 16 and we have had some rough times but lately its different. He used to say corny sweet things to me, and throw his arms around me to give me hugs all the time but lately he seems like he is forcing himself to put up with me. We see each other everyday and he just doesn’t seem to care anymore. He says he loves me. but he also says stuff like “we don’t have anything to talk about anymore” and he doesn’t want to cuddle or kiss or anything. He doesn’t want to have sex as much as he used to because he says he feels like he isn’t “good enough for me” and he just doesn’t feel up to it, which is okay, i don’t need sex but you know what I mean? He just doesn’t seem into the relationship. We fight about EVERYTHING everyday for the past month and theres so much stress between us. We have big plans coming up. He’s going back to work (construction-travel crew) and will be gone for 7 months, seeing him on weekends only and I think maybe not seeing each other will make us stronger. And he is buying a house when he is finished work (end of season) but I don’t know what to do. What can I do to make this relationship stronger and last? I love him incredibly and can’t stand not being with him but I’m afraid that seeing him will make things worse. And he doesnt want to talk about anything and he blows things way out of proportion when I try to talk to him. What should I do!?
I know where you’re coming from. Relationships are difficult and very stressful at times and in order for a relationship to work, both “parties” so to speak, need to be willing to commit to that. I would say a few things here… Maybe the relationship just needs a break and that could be something you two could decide upon since he’s going to be gone for 7 months, or you two could stay together while he’s gone if you think that he can be faithful to you while he’s away and then just seeing each other on weekends would be healthier for the two of you because you may just be seeing too much of eachother to have anything to talk about anymore. That might be what he means when he says that. Or a third option, just end the relationship all together. You need to sit down with him and ask him what he wants to do. I mean there is a chance that he still wants to be with you and that could be why you see that he’s “forcing” himself to try and make it work because he doesn’t want to break up with you. Breaking up is hard to do after 5 months, it’s not that long but it’s long enough to get attached to someone and realize that you love and care about them. Just talk to him.
When we first start a new relationship at the beginning everything seems “new’’ and “exciting’’.As we spend more and more time with someone your time together seems”routine.’’ and the excitement level goes down a little bit.I think this is what is happening in your relationship.You see each other every day so the time you two spend together is starting to not feel so “new’’ anymore.I think when this guy goes back to work he will be so busy with that and the time he will spend with you will become less frequent,believe it or not this (may)be a good thing for your relationship.As you two become busy with other things,you will start to miss the time that you use to spend together,and when you finally get a chance to spend time together away from your busy schedules,your together-time will be cherished.
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