Anyone got any good comebacks to anything

Guy: “Why do you wear a bra? It’s not like you have anything to put in it.” Girl: “You wear pants don’t you?” SNAP!!

Person 1: (talks a lot about nothing important) Person 2: If I throw a stick, will you leave me alone? HAHA!!

A really good plan to take is when you and another person are arguing over if you did something or not, suddenly admit it, and see their reaction. I did that once. P1: “You did that! I know it!” P2: “No, I didn’t!” P1: “Uh, YEAH! Ya did.” P2: “SO??” P1: “YEAH YOU-Oh. wait. what?”

Also, agreeing with stuff is annoying and hilarious. “You didn’t take the garbage out!” “I agree.”

“You didn’t turn in your missing assignments today.” “I agree.”

ya

yo mom

My friend Lauren made all these up…

1.) What’s your excuse?- Use in case of being ridiculed about your appearance

                     2.) Oh, yeah? Well, you're ugly!- Use this when facing preps; they hate being told they're ugly.

                     3.) Do you hear that? That's the sound of me not caring. 

                     4.) You can't spell "crap" without "rap". - This is for all rockers out there.GREEN DAY RULEZ!

                    5.) Bite me.- I just like this one.

                   6.) Take a picture, it'll last longer.- Use this for the staring freaks.

                   7.) Well, your face looks funny, but do you hear me saying anything?- Use this when people call you ugly and stuff.

                   8.) Well, that's better than what I have to say about you!- At school today, this kid said "You suck" to me, so I thought of a new comeback right there!!

                   9.) You are SO lucky that we're at school!!- Use this when people say things to you.

                   10.) Take like a quarter or dime out of your pocket, flip it at them and say, "Go buy yourself a new face."- Use this when people insult you.

                   11.) It takes one to know one!- Use this when people say like, "you're a loser" or something.

                    12) Yeah, that is right - Use this when people say "yeah right" to you .

                    13) F*** you- Inappropriate! But I found a loophole!

                    14) What, you don't have your own life, so you butt into mine? - Use this when people piss you off.

I don’t know much about comebacks, but I know a few insults (they’re not that good) :

So, has a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long, lonely journey.

Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today?

Brains aren’t everything. In fact, in your case they’re nothing. - he he

Don’t let your mind wander – it’s way too small to be let out on its own. - when you see someone looking very thoughtful.

You don’t know the meaning of the word “fear” - but then again you don’t know the meaning of most words. - when somebody’s messing with you.

I don’t know what makes you so dumb but it really works.

I don’t think you are a fool, but what’s my opinion compared to thousands of others?

Everybody has the right to be ugly, but I’m afraid you’ve crossed the limit.

I feel very sorry for you because you are so ugly, but I feel sorrier for myself because I have to look at you.

Words don’t describe your looks, so I’ll just throw up. - make a weird face when you say this.

Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested. - some people just drone on and on and never realize.

When you were born, God admitted that even He could make a dreadful mistake.

Sit down, give your mind a rest - it obviously needs it. - when you’re fighting with a person (battle of wits)

You’re not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.

I’m busy now. Can I ignore you some other time? - when someone you absolutely find boring talks to you.

If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive.

Keep talking, maybe someday you’ll say something intelligent. - yawn maybe, also yawn for the ‘I always yawn when I’m interested’ one.

Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn’t have given you worse advice. - put on a disgusted face.

Calling you stupid would be an insult to stupid people.

Don’t you have a terribly empty feeling - in your skull? - look very innocent and curious, full of sympathy.

Go ahead, tell them everything you know. It’ll only take 10 seconds.

How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open? - when you first see someone you detest.

You are depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

I’m trying to imagine you with a personality. - look deep in thoughts.

And which dwarf are you? - I used this on a kinda short friend. He couldn’t think of anything to say!

It’s not your face that freaks me out, it’s…no, no, it is your face. - is somebody asks you ‘what’s your big problem? Is it me?’ and you can look like you’re really wondering.

Don’t thank me for insulting you - it was a pleasure. - when you’re all done.

I have this battle of insults with two boys in my class, me and my friend and the two boys. Here are two ‘You’re so ugly’ ones of theirs that I really liked:

You’re so ugly that on Halloween, they said your costume was very nice but they wanted to see who it was behind it so you took of your mask, and they screamed immediately “PUT IT BACK ON! PUT IT BACK ON!”

You’re so ugly that when you bought a jack-in-the-box, it didn’t come out!

comment : your fat, ugly , anything unsulting at all you: (smiles) you better be carful someone might attually take you seriously a bash the F*ing crap out of you (walk away)

make sure you smile and look cheery threw the whole thing it give the creepy ‘I know where you live’ feel

You: Are those two kids twins there? Mother: Erm no they are totally different ages You: Oh…I just cant believe anybody has f*ed you twice

dam thoes are your friends

I may be fat, but you are ugly. and I can diet

nothing beats a good yo mama joke. haha

say this to the chicks who mess with your man and then won’t stand up to you… :It’s amaxing how fast you can move with yur tail wedged between your huge thighs. Manuverability must be easier when you have no spine…

I feel like punching you.

other:why not? cause your chicken?

you: no. cause there is not a hospital near here.- walk away like your all that and popular-

My dads favorite line When someone flips you off just say “Is that your age or your IQ” As in the number 1, calling them immature and stupid, 2 birds with one stone. And if they dont get it, its even funnier.