Any advice is helpful.

Im not exactly sure how to go about this.. So im just going to put it all out on the table.

Im 15, and I date someone that im not supposed to. He’s black and im white, therefor it’s wrong. My mother is pretty understanding.. And she listens to me most of the time.. But she’s not bending on this one. She found out we were dating at the begginning of the relationship, which was about 10 monthes ago.. I live in a very small town, and word travels fast.. Of course she forbid me, and threatenend me. My grandmother even said if I continued to date him then she’d take me out of her inheritence. [which is fine with me.]

Im 15, immature sometimes…but far from niave. Yes, I make mistakes.. But who doesnt. Im aware highschool sweethearts mostly dont last forever.. But im as much in love as im capable of at this point in my life. I cant imagine a day without him..

More to the point:

He comes over every weekend when moms not home. Although completely against my morals, I got carried away and had sex with him. [I dont need anyone preaching at me, as I am a christian and know premarital sex is wrong..perhaps that makes it worse that I did it, but I cant go back now.] Anyway..im on the pill but I forget sometimes. [I told mom for my pd.] Which is yet another sign of being irresponsible, so I deff shouldnt be having sex.. But I missed it. We had unprotected sex. We talked about a baby a lot.. But ultimatley we both know it would be a lot better for us and the baby if we waited. It’s not fair to the child. But it’s been 2 weeks. I havent started, perhaps because of the pills.. Maybe im just worried about it, but I feel full all the time, the slightest smells make me sick, and im exausted. I know I need to take a test, duh.. But im scared… Very- Im not uninformed or ignorant..and I know my actions have consequences.

But right now I need advice, and I have no one else to turn to. Please help.

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Answer #1

ok, I just want to say, it will all work out in the end, it will be ok.

 secondly, I want to assure you that it's not wrong 2 date someone who isn't the name race as you if you like him and he treats you well. that's racism: your mother and grandmother are being very immature by saying that if he's black and yur white, no matter how much you love each other, you cant b 2gether. have they even ever met him?
  sometimes, I wish that everyone had like no color at all, we were all clear, so people would be able 2 see others for who they really are. if the situation was reversed or if yur mother was u, she would finally be able to see how much you like him and how it doesn't matter wut race you r. wut about his family? how are they reacting 2 this? do they know and/or like u? 
 I'm black and I live in a state with like all white people. I dont care if I date people who are white or asian or hispanic. I like people for who they r. no matter wut race you r, you can still be beautiful or hansome to me. I'm friends with all kinds of people. you can be smart and funny and cute and all of those other wonderful things that people look for in a relationship.
 I personally love white people. I find every race attractive. one of my crushes is actually asian and a few are white while one is hispanic, black and white(mixed). my parents dont care who I date as long as they are good to me and I am happy. I hope that one day, your loved ones will realize that that's all they shud want 4 u.
 I think that you shud take the test as soon as possible, if you dont, and you are pregnant, others will find out before you do and like you said, word travels fast. if yur mother and grandmother dont want you dating someone black, imagine how they wud react if they found out that you were pregnant by him from someone else. yur granny wud probably have a heart attack. 
 after you take it, you need 2 sit down and talk 2 yur boyfriend about the results (make sure that you take it like twice just to b sure and not the cheap kind, lol). you need to decide wut you want to do with the baby. you can keep it and tell yur family, you can have it, then give it up for adoption, ot you can have and abortion and move on(though many people dont support abortion). you also need to talk about the future of the relationship. I dont think that all of this sneaking around is good for you guys. you need 2 decide which you want more:each other or acceptance from yur family, neighbors, etc. if you love each other as much as it sounds like you do, you will chose wut makes you both happy.=D

Answer #2

haha yeah. it is.. but it sucks that we cant like go out to eat together and the movies. we do the best we can and see each other as much as possible. but were both tired of sneeking aroung. it’s pretty stressfull. something has to change.. I just dont know where to start right now.. <3

Answer #3

once again. thanks for the advice. and I know what you mean about wishing there was no color difference. the sneaking around isnt good. but id rather do that then not see him. I’d do anything to convince them. his family likes me.. they know we date and everything.. they dont have a problem with it. sometimes we think if I was pregnant we’d be able to see each other and everything.. but I certainly didnt mean to get myself in this situation. we know it’s not a solution. I think im taking a test tomorrow.. and we have 2 haha. it wasnt cheap either lol. im just worried.. and if I was how to tell my family… it just seems like im fighting a losing batlle with all of this. but once agian. im so thankful to get to explain this to someone.. thank you so much! <3

Answer #4

You have got yourself quite a problem.

First things first. Take a test, and since you already know that, thats good but take one as soon as you can. If you find out you are pregnant, you and your boyfriend must decide what you want to do. You can get abortion, or have the child and put it up for adoption or just take care of the kid yourself. You will need to know all the pros and cons of each choice. If you want to go into detail about that funmail me. Also its good you know your actions have consequences, you may have mad a mistake in the action you took, but you will learn from it, hopefully. So just go take the test and once you find out make your descion from there. Make sure your boyfriend is well informed and involved with it.

Also for the comment about you being white and him black, colour doesnt matter.

Hope I helped Good Luck -Tizz

Answer #5

thank you. and I know it’s not a good situation.. it could have been avoided, but life happens. thanksss :)

Answer #6

vary bad situation to be in at your age but im not one to talk im 16 atm but I wish you luck and to do what you feel is right.

Answer #7

Hmmm…a sticky situation, but it is kinda dumb how your family doesn’t like you dating a black guy. Does his family like you? Kudos to you for being able to realize that color doesn’t matter in a relationship. Well… Take the test first, just to make sure. You may just be making yourself feel this way becuase of all the stress you’re probably going through. But…if you are pregnant, you need to tell someone. If his parents are ok with you tell them and then tell your parents. Family and friends and even boyfriends sometimes in these types of situations are your biggest support system. Hope I could help a litte. XOXO Sillist

Answer #8

thanks for the response. im so appreciative for people listening. his family likes me.. but when it comes down to it… he’d be mostly supporting the baby [financially that is] he’s trying to get a job, but how good could a 17 year old do?

& as far as color, I never really thought about it that much.. but then I met him and I knew no matter what there was no turning back.

but thanks so much for the response. it means so much. <3

Answer #9

thank you for the response. im really confused right now. and I know I need to take a test. im just scared.. but I have it to do.

I know color doesnt matter, I just wish I could convince my family of that.

but thank you. you have no idea how much I appreciate it. just knowing someone listenend makes me feel so much better for some reason! THANK YOU! <3

Answer #10

I agree, better 2 sneak around than not see him at all. that’s so romantic, like Romeo and Juliet!

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