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Am I just being a sucker?

I have been with my girlfriend for almost 7yrs now. I always thought that we were going to spend the rest of our lives together. We have been living in her mothers house(her mother lives elsewhere) and she has returned to school. I wanted to pop the question, but I wanted to wait until we were financially ready. I have recently learned that she has been romanticly involved(I dont know about sex) with a former employer of hers. On valentines weeked she said she and her girlfriend were going to hang out at her girlfriends parents up north for the weekend. Last night I found out that what she really did was go up north with this guy. I found out because she left her email open on the computer, and like the jerk I am, I read it. Her responding to her friends email- “its not really a first date. We’ve known each other for a few years, and have seen each other ‘unoffically’, just our first kinda ‘real’ date…does that make any sense??? He was actually my boss at a bar I used work at, and yes he is paying. He wont tell me where were going, just that it is up north, cold, snow, and that he will be cooking me dinner. I guess I am pretty lucky, hahaha. We’ll see how it go, im just happy to have to some ‘adult’ time!!!”

The thing is, even after finding out for sure what I had suspected already, dont want to lose her. Do you think I should just let go reguardless of how my heart feels? Im worried that even if we do mend things now, will this kinda shit happen again? *sorry so long, really dont have anyone to talk to about this.

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Answer #1

Gosh, I honestly don’t know what to tell you. You are going through so much and the best advice I can give you is to have a conversation with your daughter. She seems really hurt and she should be the first person in your mind when it comes to anything. She’s your priorty and she needs you! I have no idea if you have spoken to her mother or have had a conversation about what she had done, but the bottem line is you BOTH need to work things out. What is going to happen between yall? Stay together or break off? I really hope you both are able work things out. Your daughter deserves to have both of her parents there for her when she really needs the both of you. Especially when it comes to high school. Just keep in mind, when your girlfriend and you have the conversation think about your daugher. She will be the one most affected… Hope my advice helps… Keep me posted =)

Answer #2

Well This Really Sucks My Mother Is A Jerk And Right Now im Crying This Isnt Fair To Me!!! Its Like You Guys Dont Care!!! Is Running Away The Only Option??? My Life Sucks!!!

Answer #3

Alexis1623, Thanks a lot for taking the time to respond. I really dont have anyone to talk to about this with. The past 7yrs the only thing I’ve known is her and the kids, as far as I was concerned they were my world and I didnt need anyone else. Thanks for listening.

As far as my problem gos, I think I will give her through the weekend to show some sort of emotion(eigther way, I just want to know) before I make any decisions. If Im not wanted, Im not, I can handle that, but I dont want to be grasping at something that doesnt want to be try to reach back.

Answer #4

I told her last night that I found out what was going on. She said “sorry”, but I dont know what that really means. I dont even know if she wants to try to work things out, and if she does, I dont know what to do.

Answer #5

If you let it go she will continue to do this you can find someone better that really values your feelings.
or you can tell her that you already know what is going on and maybe yall can work something out and solve this problem together hope my advice helps good luck =)

Answer #6

Well if thats all she said, it seems like she lost internest in yalls relationship, but that’s just my opinion. I could be wrong. If I were in her shoes, I would have explained why I was having an affair with another man. In addition, I would have told you if you could give me another chance to work things out. But if she just said “sorry” that is just so cold. No meaning behind it whatsever. It doesn’t seem as if she really means it. Feelingglowinphoenix, you should really things out. Don’t think about yalls wonderful past together. Think about what is doing to you right now. How can she love you if she is going off with another man for dinner who knows where and possibly doing more things with him. He doesn’t deserve you. You deserve better and if she really loves you she wouldn’t be putting you through hell. Let me know how things work out. I hope my advice helps… =)

Answer #7

Well I guess I really screwed up!! I went to work and somehow didnt close my browser. When my youngest got home from school she got on the computer and read everything. Shes going to be 13 next week. I am so sick right now. I didnt want the kids to know what was going on!!! This whole thing is just spiraling out of control!!! You can see from the posts above how she took it. Reguardless of what was happening with me and her mom, I NEVER wanted to put a rift between her and the kids.

Answer #8

why did you have kids with her and not marry her? She probably lost a lot of respect for you even under the radar if she didn’t admit it.

I believe that causes resentment, I dated a guy for 6 years and same thing , I had zero respect for him near the end. I felt like he didn’t give a crap deep down because he didn’t marry me or break up with me. I dumped him and a year later married an amazing guy .

But anyhow: Yes, you are being a sucker, tell her to fess up to EVERYTHING she did or you will WALK OUT OF HER LIFE. Period.

Answer #9

By The Way This Is Your Daughter

Answer #10

What is going on?

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