How can I break off this affair with a coworker?

I am a 29 year old divorced mother of 2. I began a relationship after my divorce that lasted 3 years the relationship went south after 2 and a half years. I work with a man that has always been a clown at work like myself. One day a coworker pointed out that he was checking me out. I told her she was crazy and she said he had been doing this as long as she could remember. So the harmless flirtation we always had gave way to more. We have been seeing each other for 6 months. Having sex for 2 months , The problem is he has been married for 16 years!!! Everyone at work has known the marriage has been unhappy for at least 3 years. This is something I can’t believe I am doing since my divorce was due to a woman like me. I have tried to brake it off and yet I am drawn to him and it is becoming harder to keep it physical like we had originally intended. He stands to lose a lot through divorce but is seeking a way out. I know this sounds like he wants his cake and eat it too but it’s his daughter that he stands to lose. His wife threatens him with taking her if they divorce and never letting him have her. He is devoted to his daughter and his office shows it. I am not sure what I should do. I have to work with him daily and switching jobs is not a possibility for either, even if I wanted to end it. Not sure which way to go,,,help!!!

Answer #1

Hi…unlike some of the others..I have sympathy with your situation. I also after going thru a divorce got attached and attracted to a married co-worker. He came on to me and I pushed him away for a long time..then I gave in to the attraction and let me tell you…after two years of breaking up and going back together…it is the most painful thing I have ever gone thru. Get out while you can before you fall in love like I did.

Answer #2

You’d think you would know better than this since it DID happen to YOU.

Answer #3

The forbidden can be intoxicating. That’s why you can’t end it. But I’m going to be honest with you. If he doesn’t respect his wife enough to not have an affair with you (regardless of their problems) what makes you think he will respect you? Also, if you can’t respect his marriage enough to not have sex with him…you are just as selfish. Adultery is the result of two self-serving individuals that need to satisfy their own needs. If you two start a relationship…you’d both be trying to satisfy your own needs. A real relationship is when the two are trying to satisfy the others needs. If you cared about him..you would see his need to end the relationship with you.

Answer #4

You should not deal with that what his wife stirs in the upstage. That is not your business. You fought your fight when you divorced. Do not want to fight somebody’s else fighting. If you enjoy the time that you two spend together then enjoy it in the future, too. If you are bored by the relationship you may tell this and break up with him.

Answer #5

Stay with him, break up his family, make him leave his wife and ruin his little girl’s life. Cause, hey–you guys wanna F each other.

Selfish, selfish, selfish. If you have to ask what to do, then you are lame and weak and deserving of whatever it is you get.

Answer #6

My advice to you is to get out NOW!!! I started a relationship with a coworker. I didn’t find out he was married until a year later. I was so in love with him by the time I found out. It was my first serious relationship. He was so perfect and everything I had ever wanted in a man. I knew the right thing to do was to let it go, but I struggled for 5 years to let that man go. The pain and shame I felt was unbareable. Trust me when I say it is not worth it! The best thing for you to do is to move on! You can NEVER get the time you wasted with him back and the pain you will feel is not worth it. Love yourself more than that. You are worth it. Think about how you felt when you found out your husband was cheating. I know its hard, but take it from someone who was young, dumb, and just wanted to be loved. It’s not worth it sweetheart. Move on!

Answer #7

Start looking for another job… My husband confessed an affair of 2 and half years of our 3 year marriage… it is the most difficult and deepest pain I have ever felt… It leaves me stuck, alone, confused, and I’m driving myself to the brink of insanety wondering how he could do this to me…

Is that the kind of man you’ve always dreamed up… Really? I know in my fairy tale prince charming was a walking penis but a knight in shining armour ready to defend our relationship… don’t do it! You deserve better and so does the wife.. this guy is trash.

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