abortion or not

I recently found out that I was pregnant with my ex’s baby. We have been married, divorced and on again off again. Thislast break up was for good on my part I was tired of being an idiot basically. He has been addicted to painkillers for 10 years now and also drinks everyday excessively. He has lost numerous jobs and always blames everyone else: me, his family, etc.. He has burned all his bridges with his once close friends who have written him off. Anyway, I told him about being pregnant because I wanted to get him to pay for the abortion but he was the opposite stating it was great and he couldn’t wait to get back together and be the best parents. I continued to talk with him about his issues and of course he said now he had a reason to quit and everything would be okay. I continued at him to make sure it was what he really wanted and that he just wasn’t “high” feeling life was great.For 3 weeks now he’s been supportive and the day before Christmas and didn’t hear from him, and on Christmas I din’t hear from him nor did his family so I drove to his place and he was an ass stating he needed time to think and didn’t want to be around anyone. I was pissed because I allowed myself once again to be fooled by his lies. I continued to call him onChristmas and he neveransweredhis phone and I have not heard fromhim since. I am now struggling with getting the abortion I’m 36 and have never had kids but I don’t want to do this alone and be a single mom. I know I can never countonhim because he is an addict and doesn’twant to quit, because in his eyes he doesn’thavea problem. I’m getting ready to move out of state back with my family too so I won’t have a job right away and no health insurance. I feel so confused and betrayed. Why he just wouldn’t have agreed in the very beginning so there wouldn’t be all this time to think and think. I want my ex out of my life for good and I feel if I have the baby I will always have a tie to him that I don’t want. I would appreciate any advice. Thanks! CONFUSED