A third partner?

Oh to many questions………she was def passing hints……she wants you…..dont know about the husband but she wants you and she wants a place to stay. Your fantasy come true. Now you gotta work it out. 1st see if its what you really want, dont do anything withher yet, just spent more time with her and get to trusting her becos you have only known her for 2 weeks!

Then if you decide its something you are interested in taking further you need to discuss it with her 1st to see if she is interested 1st…..if she is and it comes up in convo and you talk about the possibilites then you need to discuss it with your husband BEFORE anything further happens. Tell him about your friend, let him get to know her also, invite her over alot and so on, then openly discuss the possibility with your husband. If your husband is then keen the 3 of you sit down and talk things over and come up with some ground rules and so on to make it work. Then take it from there.

Only if you wanna take this risk tho. But you need some more time to think it over and get to know her, dont rush anything! this is your marriage you are risking!

Thanks for your openness with us. You told her of your past experiance with a girl and at that point she could have mooved on you, but she didn’t. You and your husband had talked about a threesome in the past. Try bring up the subject with him first. Then if he is still open to it introduce him to your friend with both of them knowing that there is this maybe/possibily thing for you all. Meet socially for coffee or drinks to talk about it and to give him a chance to get to know where things stand and what your thoughts and desires are. But if he says, no way. And he might, you will still have a marriage that you have done your part to keep faithfully. I don’t think any of you want to have the deep feelings of doubt or wonder what could have/would have or might have been. There are decisions to be made that affect all of your lives so they are best arrived at by all of you. And one area that Sue 90 brought up is your husbands homo needs. Is he willing to have the - added female in the equasion? Please keep us informed? - -Good Luck - - Gino

Well, safina, it’s a little difficult to answer your questions because it’s complicated by the fact that you are a bi married couple (!), but I will try to give you some general adivce. First of all, I don’t understand how can your husband be interested in a third partner which would be a woman - because he is also bi and I think this would imply that he would think of a man for his partner and you of a woman. If he hadn’t been bi, it would have made more sense. If you don’t know the answer for sure, find it somehow, to see if you idea of a 3rd partner matches indeed the desire of both of you (or rather, the s*x of the 3rd partner). Many people haven’t fulfiled their dreams because they got afraid of it. It may be called the fear of success, or it’s quite close. You want something your entire life and when you have the chance - you back out and probably regret it afterwards. I think it’s quite hard sometimes for two people to live together for a longer time (such as a married couple), but imagine for 3!! However, I think you should go for it and explore your fantasies :D I think it would be a good experience and also make you feel good. The thing with the bed is very unclear/strange, as sue90 has mentioned. Maybe you should clarify it for us? Back to your questions:

1. I think you shouldn’t talk about your fears with her, but wait to see what happens. You forgot how to pick up girls, you’re getting rusty :D You don’t need so many words, because it’s not a negociation, you have to lead the things in the direction that (both of) you want. Let it happen and stop worrying so much! A few details at a time is enough, not all together. You should disclose your feelings (and fears) gradually, in time. Not too much, not too fast. Don’t forget it. And explore it, yes, this is what you’ve always wanted, right? Be courageous!
2. Yes, you must ask her. But when the time is right and if she doesn’t tell you in the meantime. When the time is right = for example, when you’re drinking something and having fun and talking about yourselves, like you had the chance before. Now that you’ve missed it, leave a little time inbetween and see if she will tell you herself or, after a longer while, wait for a similar occasion and ask her, but make it look casual, ok? :)
3. If the answer would be you and you’re not ready to hear it, wait some more time and don’t press that answer to come out. Just don’t create yourself any expectations, have a good time, you already have that when you’re with her, right? Stop tormenting yourself with so many questions, relax!
4. About your husband, it’s unclear for me, but: Don’t tell her straight that your husband is included, and don’t talk to him about this yet! First of all, you don’t really know if you have what to talk about. Second, this is YOUR fantasy, right? And you and her are already closer to one another, so first make your moves and see what’s the outcome of it, don’t complicate the things from the start by involving someone else, even if it’s your husband. Then, after a few times having had s*x, you could bring it about - the 3some. First speak with her and then to your husband. Besides, it would be quite fair, because you have already discussed about the possibility of a third with him, haven’t you? These would be my recommendations. Relax, have fun and tell us how it went! :)