13 and pregnant, what do I do?

get an abortion.

its the cold, hard, reality of the situation; you may not want to hear it, but you’re a child yourself and if you are to bring your pregnancy to the point of partuition (birth) with as young as you are, the child isn’t going to have the best life you can provide it than you could if you were older and wiser, with your own home and sustainable income.

don’t think I’m just blowing smoke up your butt, I know how frightening and emotionally wrenching this is for you; I came from a very strict Catholic upbringing, and was always taught that pre-marital sex, birth control and especially abortion was the epitome of evil, but, being a normal healthy teenager, I lost my virginity a few days after I turned 14, then a year later when I just turned 15 I became pregnant.

I opted for the procedure during the tailend of the third trimester. I still had to fess up to my boyfriend (who I’m still with today, and I’m turning 22 next monday…our 9th anniversary is next May!) and my parents…it sucked, yeah, and it hurt emotionally (not so bad physically, it was with RU-486 from my ob/gyn, just a lot of nasty cramps and spotting for about a month), but I knew deep down that it was the correct choice.

it’s unfair to you, your family, and your boyfriend to suffer through the heartache, humiliation, copious amounts of medical bills, physical trauma, financial issues, and the fact that you’ll miss out on your entire young adulthood.

think about it, taking a drivers license test at age 16 with your THREE YEAR OLD CHILD in the backseat crying, graduating from high school at 18 when your FIVE YEAR OLD is graduating from kindergarten…on your 21st birthday, wanting to go to the bars with your friends to celebrate becoming a true adult but not being able to do so because your EIGHT YEAR OLD KID is upset that their crush didn’t call them that night and you’re stuck at home consoling them…the cycle will complete itself when your child confronts you at age 13 to let you know that they’re having a baby.

no lessons learned, all pain and suffering, all humilition and shame, family problems for life…you’re too young, and the baby will suffer.

even if it goes against your personal or religious beliefs, its simply a medical procedure if its within the first trimester (I.e. first 3 months of the pregnancy); its not even human yet, just a bundle of cells splitting and multiplying, resembling a tiny raspberry. sure the heart cells and central nervous system is developing and the “heart” is beating but heart cells pulsate when removed from the body and stuck in a Petri dish…its just how heart cells operate, its not really a sign of life or consciousness so don’t let those “pro-life” weirdos sway you away from making the most important decision of your young life!

it’d be foolish to seriously consider bringing this child into the world if you’re not ready emotionally, physically, and financially.

just from the scariness of this situation and the knowledge that you became pregnant from insufficient contraceptive procedures (you’re 13…you’re UBER-fertile at this age with the crazy amount of hormones and all that, you should be using at LEAST 2 forms of birth control at this age if you don’t want to be absinent…condom + pill, pill + vaginal sponge, etc) should be enough for you to realize you messed up big time and how to avoid it from happening again until you know you’re ready to become a mom.

its not like I hate babies or anything, its quite to the contrary; I believe that a child should be brought into the world only when BOTH PARENTS are ready to become a mommy and a daddy, not because they messed up their birth control method somehow and had sex. its not fair to anyone involved, especially the child. a baby should come into a home where there’s no worries about finances, and the parents are READY for a kid, not just forced into it.

best of luck, I know how you must feel, and I hope that my long, ranting two cents on the matter helps you out. ultimately, it is your decision and not your parents’ or boyfriends. its your body, your choice. if you do opt for having the abortion, please, PLEASE make sure you have it done by an actual ob/gyn doctor in their sterile office setting and not by some creepy person in their house…Google the history of abortion in the United States, and you’ll know why you’re going to want to do some research…

…again, good luck, hang tough, and just know that you’re not the only one out there who’s been through this :P