Is it wrong for me NOT to want to go to my boyfriend's parent's house to eat?

Hes always inviting me but I always decline. Ive met his parents but I dont feel comfortable around them. And they have like 25 people over there eating too. I have a 2 (terrible twos) year old whose very messy and clumsy. I just dont wanna go. Ever. I go by to visit them but I dont like the idea of having dinner there. I can tell hes upset by me declining him. But he doesnt go over my moms house either soooo idk what to do. Somebody told me I should put my son off to a baby sitter but im not doing that. Last time I did his mom asked why I never have my son, and hes usually with me 24_7 it made me feel like a bad parent. So what should I do??

Answer #1

It is normal,it’s OK

Answer #2

Go there hun…The once suits all but ,you…BUT….i guarantee it will not be as bad as you imagine,things like this never are…20 people there should take the attention off of you,so much going on and that….and as for the kid being messy,as long as you are there taking care of the kid like a good mum would,what’s the problem?…things like this are familiar to us all in different circumstances obviously but more often than not the fear you feel is often forgot once there ,and i bet you enjoy it more than hate it…If your lover would do the same for you then at least try for his sake,he just wants you to be part of his family is what i gather=which is so nice…give it a go hun,and good luck.

Answer #3

I wouldn’t say that it’s necessarily WRONG for you to not want to go there, but I do think that constantly declining could end up being a problem for you and him in the long run. His parents, after all, are his family. I’m sure that, to some degree, having you around his parents every now and then is something that’s important to him. I’m sure, to some degree, you’d love for him to sit down with your family too, right?

With this being said, I definitely think this is something you should talk to him about. Does he know your reasons for not wanting to go over there? Also, does he know how you feel about him not visiting your moms place? If you guys haven’t had a good talk about it, you definitely should.

On a side note, is it ever possible for his parents to go to YOUR house for supper instead of you bringing your kids there? I know comfort is an issue, but perhaps it would be a little more easier or comfortable for you to have your children at your house where you can keep them, put them to sleep when it’s time, and perhaps even take some time to bond with his parents. Again, I get that comfort is an issue, but perhaps spending time together and getting to know each other can help that.

Answer #4

Its normal your uncomfortable & embarssed but if this is the man you want to be with forever and marry him because you love him then you will have to go at some point in your life so why not now ? Hope I helped :)

Answer #5

It is normal to feel that way, I felt the same when I met my inlaws for the first time. I had been married before and had a son of my own. I was afraid that they wouldn’t like him or me, afraid that I wouldn’t fit in.

Their family was so close and his mother was the matriarch, what she said was law.

It was not as bad as I thought, it took time but soon I was a part of something very special. A close family where everyone looks out for each other.

My advice, go for it.

Answer #6

NOT REALLY

Answer #7

NOT REALLY

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