Why won't my parents let me move in with my boyfriend?

Dear Mickey :

I’m typically not the most traditional thinker, but in general, I think that it’s not the best idea to move in with a BF. I know the reasons seem good and you figure, “why not?” but moving in could jeopardize not only the relationship, but your independence. If you’re thinking long term between the two of you, many argue that a guy won’t marry a girl if they are already living together, because he is “already getting the milk for free”. This isn’t always the case, but it’s worth considering. You know your relationship with this man better than I. Secondly, I know you think that the pair of you will last forever, but what if things don’t work out? Then you’ll be living with him merely to pay bills. It may be better to experience independent life away from your parents and in a different scenario first. Living on your own is a new experience in itself, let alone with a romantic partner.

Secondly you have to consider what you would be losing merely to live with him. Your parents provide many necessities as well as your job now. You would have to find a new job, which could be beneficial if you are trying to separate yourself from them but detrimental if you really value the job. Just know that your family will be there for you like nobody else and they REALLY do have your best interests in mind. They also have life experience that us as their children don’t quite understand until we’re older. Parents tend you know a little more about relationships than we do.

As far as the brother thing, I would say don’t move in with him if you really feel you’ll have issues with it. I don’t think your parents are insisting, just offering another option where you could be independent and still have their approval. At least they are willing to let you move out;)

This being said, you really need to weigh your options and determine how this affects you and those important to you. Is moving in with this boyfriend really worth the cost? After all, you can still have the boyfriend without moving in together.