Do I leave him alone and just try to carry on?

Im recently engaged to one of the most amazing men I ever met. But I was in a relationship for 6 years, with my first boyfriend, who broke up with me towards the end for another girl (long situation he was dating both of us at the same time for a few months towards the end, I knew about it, and he eventually chose her.) looking back on it, he was making a transition into a new relationship with the “saftey” of still having me. Im over it tho. But I don’t know what to think…I dream about him every few months… Its the wierdest thing. Part of me is still in love with him I think and I have no idea why. Things with him (the first b/boyfriend…well call him joe) and me were very unstable… I cheated almost constantly because I never felt loved. We were together for 6 years… From middle school up until the end of highschool. Now im almost finished with college, engaged, and looking to start a family soon. My fiance is the most amazing man I’ve ever met in my entire life. Im so incredibly in love with him…we live together and everything is perfect. He’s in the military and treats me with respect and is a true gentlemen. Me and joe (the first boyfriend) had good times together…we were best friends for the longest time, like yin and yang (corny, but true). I was everything positive (kind, caring, social, giving, just generally loving life)…and he was everything negative (mean to other people, antisocial, demeaning, bossy, selfish, disrespectful, controlling)…but something about that complete connection is keeping me from moving on. We’ve been broken up for 3 years now…but talk maybe once every 8 months or so just randomly. I think of him every now and again and it makes me miss him. I wonder what it would be like if we were still together… I love my fiance more than anything though…he is my %110 prince charming. Also corny, but very true. He would do anything for me…we have a wonderful and healthy relationship. I just cant get these random thoughts of my ex to go away…and it really bothers me. …is it possible that I miss what me and joe (first boyfriend) had? I dont know what to do.

My relationship with joe was toxic. I lost all of my friends…we only had each other. And thats how he wanted it. I had to choose, and wasent allowed to talk to other people. I cheated almost constantly on him… I couldnt understand why I was so in love with somebody but felt completley alone. …now I realize its because he never loved me back. I was searching for someone to fill the void I felt by being with him. He may have cared about me a lot… But he was always #1. I didnt matter. You dont treat people you love like that. Like I said before… I love my fiance more than anything, and would never even think of cheating on him. He’s wonderful… …is it because my parents had a marriage like that? They eventually divorced, but my father treated my mother terribly. But could that be why im feeling a pull to “joe” again?…because im nearing marriage and thats what I grew up with?

What do I do? Do I talk to joe again? Do I leave him alone and just try to carry on? I want a family with my fiance. He would be the perfect husband and father and I cant imagine not having him in my life…so why do I still have small random feelings for joe?