Why is my mom so mean to me?

Okay, this is a long one, but PLEASE PLEASE read it
I just don't get it, my mom treats me like a pile of shit. She expects way to much of me and I noticed that she likes to blame all of her problems on either me or someone other than her. For example, she said that she can't keep the house clean because of me and I'm half of her problems. I don't understanf why a 38 year old woman feels the need to blame all of her problems on a 15 year old, why can't she own up and take responsibilty. Even I'm more mature than that, because I'm not afraid to admit that most of my problems are my own fault. She only blames me cause she has nobody else to, me and my lil brother have different fathers and neither of them do shit for my family. I've never even met my father! I mean, my mom is 38 and he's 5 something, he has like 7 kids, doesn't even got a full time job and was on drugs when my mom had me. My little brother is treated sooo much better than me. For example, he failed grade 3 and is now doing it over. We gor our report cards back the other day, and he did alright, but I got all in the 90's!!! My mom was talking to my gramma about how good my brother did and when my gramma asked how I did, all my mom said was, " Oh, she did good." and left it at that. I tried so hard to get good grades to make her happy, but I guess I'm a fool for that. She never says anything nice to me and tries to tell me I start all of our fights, when 75 % of the time she does. She's always going on about how great and smart and good looking my lil brother is right in front of me and it makes me feel terrible. I have enough self-esteem problems, I wish my mom would at least try to help, but she doesn't seem to care!!! I feel invisible at home and in school and I'm really a very interesting person, but nobosy will take the time to get to know me, not even my own MOTHER!!! I also don't like how she keeps telling me I'm just like my father, when I know for a fact I'm not, I would never have 7 kids and leave them, you'd have to be pretty low. I've said some nasty things to my mom, but come on!!! She also keeps calling my father ( who I've never met) my " Old Man" and telling me to go live with him. She also tries to make me jealous by taliing about men that like her and trying on clothes in front of me and making model faces.
Anyway, that way really long, but I really need help and I appreciate it so much!!! Please, help, why is my mom like this and what should I do to stop it? Thank you so much!!!

19 answers

Recent Questions Parents & Family

ANSWER #1 of 19

you are in the same exact situation as me. I just ignore it and act totally normal, listen to Green Day, cut my own hair (just chopped it a week ago) to make it look like Adrienne Armstrong's, paint my nails crazy colors, go to Gilman Street, go have band practice w/ my band, just be yourself. you don't have to answer to anything she says. just rebel against it, I do. just get yourself into something (not anything destructive, like drugs or prostitution), like I got onto the punk scene to get AWAY from my family. anyway, your mom is probably enjoying hurting your feelings, so ignore it. she'll get over it and in three years when you've moved out, she'll probably start on your brother! anyway, just remember: YOU DON'T HAVE TO ANSWER TO ANYBODY!!! just do what you want, when you want.

ANSWER #2 of 19

did you do anythin to make her pissed off aty you. it could also be because shes going through somethin in her life

How to tell my Mom I got detention?

ANSWER #3 of 19

well you do say that some if it is your fault and maybe you should have a sit down talk with her and tell her how you feel you half to be the bigger person and take it personal about how your mom treats your lil bro better than you it is just because he is younger and sometimes he needs more attention I also suggest that you find one really good friend to talk to when you are stuck also maybe your mom has something that has happened to her thatis really hard and she is just taking her anger out on you just be patuont with her maybe you both can also set a day of each week to go out for a girls day and talk about what ever is on your mined she needs you now than ever because she has a son and a 2nd huosband and maybe she is scared becuase you are growing up and she is scared for when you move out she will really miss you and it probaly is just you grew up so fast so fast that she didnt ever get the chance to tell you how she felt and maybe missed out on doing some activiteies with you becuase of her work well thats all good luck!

How did you tell your mom that you got your period?
ANSWER #4 of 19

I can understand you there
but in my case its my step-dad
your mom has problems of her own
what I do is spend as less time as possible w. my dad..yes I love him but the less we talk the happier our family is..dont listen 2 her when she tries 2 put you down its just her being ignorant,do your best in everything you can so you can throw it in her face & prove 2 her that you dont need her much..some people are better off w. out parents that arent resposiable,mature, or caring.

How can I convince my mom to let my friend sleep over?

ANSWER #5 of 19

And you will be a writer, put your mind to it and dont let her put you down. Keep up with the grades and you'll get there one day and you'll feel great becos you did it yourself.

How do I get rid of my Mom's boyfriend?
ANSWER #6 of 19

I dont why your mom is so mean

but I just thought id let you know I know exactly how you feel
my mother complete strangers and people who have done her and my family wrong way better than me my sister.

so just know your not the only one with a mom like that

I hate my Mom's boyfriend

ANSWER #7 of 19

Ok, I see you have got many nice answers, so I add only that, your letter is clear and smart, you wrote that your grade at shcool is good, your mother answered your grandmother that "oh, she did good", so your mother knows your values. Your mother cannot show you how she likes you, this is a real problem, but I am sure she loves you, Ok, your father is not a strong character, your mother is angry with him because of this, but this weak person gave her a very nince and strong characer daugther, you. Never will be jelous for your little brother, somehow your mother regards you more adult as you are, and tries to quarell you instead of your father. In fact your mother never left you, and this is the really importan point. Continue studying well.

How do I hide my nails from my mom ?
ANSWER #8 of 19

Wow. After reading all of this I realize how lucky I am to have a mom who loves me and knows how to show it.

How to tell my Mom I want to live with my Dad?

ANSWER #9 of 19

Hun you are only 15, wat kind of problems could you possibly have? its your mother who has issues!!!! she is most probably jealous of the fact that she is an old bat and is trying to make herself feel better by picking on you and making you feel bad about yourself, she is jelous that her own daughter is growing into a beautiful young women and is doing great for herself, getting good grades and isnt messed up in the head, she nos your not going to end up being a single mother of 2 kids with different fathers that want nothing to do with her! so she is so jealous of that, shes messed up.
What you need to do, and i no its difficult, is not let her bother you, or seem like she doesnt bother you becos the more reaction she gets out of you the more she is smiling inside that she pissed you off. Act like wat eva she says doesnt matter do you becos you no you are better than she realises, she nos it to but doesnt want to admit it. When she crapping on about your brother, agree, say 'yeah he is doing heaps good huh' and walk away smiling at the fact that your mother didnt see you get jealous over it. When shes crapping on about how great she looks, smile and walk away thinking 'yeah we'll see what kind of dog you bring home next' becos you no she is worthless and you yourself are going to do great things and not be like her. she wants to see you fail becos she failed, the only great thing she has done in her life is have 2 great kids, but you are going to go all the way becos you have a good head on your shoulders that she isnt going to mess up, and she is so jealous of that, let her. One day, you can look at her and say 'i did it mum, im everything you wanted to be, and i did it myself'!!!

How can I tell my mom I have a boyfriend?
ANSWER #10 of 19

Dear brighteyez,

Well it sounds like it's your mother with the self-esteem problems. We can pick our friends but we can't pick our families so we have to learn live with them.

We may never understand them but we must learn to change things for ourselves.

Go to a teacher and ask her if she knows of a good counselor. Usually the school has one that you can see right away.

Your mother sounds as if she is having a hard time dealing with her life but that doesn't mean you have to feel that way.

There are many ways to make life livable at home but attitude is far most the best way to make things easier.

Don't yell back, when asked to do your chores do them without attitude, tell mom she is beautiful when in the modeling mode and how lucky she is (smile) as you say this.

Misery loves company so if you try to be upbeat and positive even if you don't really feel like it sometimes it rubs off and others start to treat you differently.

Sue...good luck

How can I convince my mom to let me buy this bra?
ANSWER #11 of 19

you know what.. you should print off what you just wrote.. and give it to her.. it would get to her.. she probalby doesnt talk about you because thats what your normally like. She is proud of you. no matter what you say. she is.. her blaming you for a dirty house.. help out so its a bit tidy and tell her u did this or that.. vacuum for once. itl help alot. Tell her it bothers you that she ignores you you feel left out and not loved and it hurts you. shel appologize. tell her your trying really hard to make her notice you but everything you do doesnt seem to work. but if you print what u wrote, and give it to her.. shel probably cry add in " i feel so neglected i have one parent and she doesnt even love me" say it was a personal diary.. to help you out. but leave it onthe counter.. take out the alcoholic thing.. about ur step.. make it mom readable. TRUST ME. and say i lovem y mom soo much i wish she loved me too. <3 pleasepleas please do it! Itl work

What cool craft should I make my Mom for her birthday?
ANSWER #12 of 19

Hunny, I would love to be a fly on that wall to listen to you and your mother. Sometimes, we as parents get on to our children for good reasons. I am a mother of three teens and let me tell you what, it's a constant battle. I know your little brother probably gets more attention, but that's because he needs more direction. You do too, but not as much, because of the age difference. However, I think you need to be respectful to your mother. She probably is stressed out, since you have no father figures in your life. Put yourself in her shoes and see if there is anything you can do to help out. Yes, she is your mother, but maybe help out with the housework like your suppose to. My rules here are chores and homework come first and treat others the way you want to be treated (the Golden Rule). That means you have to do that to both your mom and brother. You all have to respect each other and get along. Your mom isn't mean to me, she probably just thinks you need to act a little more mature than you are. Get some counseling, go to a youth group at a church or civic center, have fun, do something fun with both your mom and brother and keep the lines of communication open.

ANSWER #13 of 19

You seem great to me. I love how well you articulate for someone so young. You do really good at writing. You should be proud. So many have difficulties even composing a couple sentences!

I had a tuff mom to please at home myself when growing up, so I know where you are coming from. I think she is expecting you to be how you look to her. You appear all grown up to her and she expects you to act like it. She wants you to take on the responsibilities around the house like you are an adult. The way she acts makes me think this. When I was your age, my mom made me do all the housework so she wouldn't have anything to do at home. Work was enough to wear her out!

Your mom is giving your little brother the attention and praises because she feels he needs them more. He is not as grown and not doing as well as you so she is doting on him more.

She complains about the house because she wants you to help more. It is not easy being the dad and mom of a family. Most parents don't have classes that teach them how to be good parents. Not all do what they are supposed to do or do as well raising children as others do. Perhaps it would be good if you could talk with her and try to express your feelings without sounding like everything is her fault.

Just try to work things out between you. Once you try on each others shoes, you'll be able to understand each others viewpoints better.

God's Blessings while you work this out!

ANSWER #14 of 19

Actually its your mom who seems to have a very big problem,sometimes its not only us who needs that love but also our parents do need that too,I think you have to first tell your mom how much you love her "well I hope you do",then try to explain to her that you obviously don't like the way she does things,and make it clear that if she shows much care and appreciation that would mean a lot to you,Wishing you goodluck girl.

ANSWER #15 of 19

For what I just read you sound like a great person so don't ever doubt that! And I know what you mean because I'm sort of going though the same thing you are but not to that bad. I think that it is so wrong for your mom to do that, like they don't no how hard it is to be 15 and they still make it hard.
I think you should first stop trying to push your self to do things that might make your mom happy for you if she's not willing to except you for what you are then she's missing out!
oh and try talking to your mom about how you feel alone! ( I no it sounds cheesey but it works) LOL I hope this helps because I no what your going though!

ANSWER #16 of 19

hey chill out I would tell my mom all that you told me in the paragraph above that way you can kind of make her feel guilty and maybe she will be nice to you. What I have to do to my mom is when shes mad at me I write her a letter and tell her all the things that are bothering me. I then sneak the letter onto her pillow so when she goes to bed she will find it and read it. This really works for me I would try this you never know she could be really sorry and be nice to you for a change and by the way say in the letter about your brother and tell her that your just as special as he is

Good Luck! : )

ANSWER #17 of 19

well I got to say it sounds like your mum and mine seem like ther twins.shes mean 2me 2. I've come 2 reaslise that my mum is mean 2 me because shes jealous of my youth and the fact that I have my whole life ahead of me 2 do what I want.and the one thing that our mothers dont have is time.ther gettin old and starting 2reaslise that they havnt done anything with themselves.they cant even keep a relationship up. dont let her make you bitter and negative about life because you will end up just like her.whatever she says just ignore her,because your the one that will end up going places.just stick it out till your old enough to lead your own life legaly.you'l find that you'l become a stronger person with a positive outlook on life.make a plan for yourslef

ANSWER #18 of 19

Whoa. I hope your life gets turned around. Because that shouldn't be a chioldhood facement. Your mom should've been better. I hope you become rich or something.

ANSWER #19 of 19

omg i have a mom just like that we need to talk its so annoying like today my mom was angry at my dog so she took a nap in my ROOM i needed to get stuff and do homework but all my stuff was in there and very time i walk in she screams at me to turn off the she's such a bitch and i want to yell at her but then she screams at me i hate her

Add your answer to this list

Try these searches:

teen, adult daughter mom, mom, mom mean, mum, mother blame