Funadvice Logo
+ List
More Sex Questions

Why is it? Is my girlfriend going off me?

I think my girlfriend maybe going off me? It all started about two weeks ago and when I thought we were going to have sex, after kissing and caressing each other in bed for a while etc etc. In the end she said to me, that she was to tired and didn’t want to. This was the first time she had said no so I was abit annoyed, but didn’t really show it at the time and simply said ok night night! It’s not all about sex, but we don’t have it enough anyway. We haven’t had sex since she said no and haven’t really been affectionate either, although the past week she said she is on her period. So the other night when I stayed over hers I said that a few things have been bugging me recently, one being I don’t think she is affectionate enough to me generally and that I wanted it to change. Don’t get me wrong when out we always hold hands, cuddle but don’t kiss much at all! I didn’t mention the whole sex rejection thing, but just that I wanted her to be more affectionate! She said to me that night sometimes she feels like I could be the one, and that she could see us together forever (Although she said it sounded crazy but sometimes she just felt that way)! But then she said sometimes she isn’t sure and doesn’t always feel great about me, but to be honest I sometimes feel down about our relationship… is this normal??? Another big thing is, she will be working up in London as of next week, for a period not yet known, she will have to get up at 4am and most nights may not be back till 8pm, so not much to for us at all after her having such a long day… also she is away this weekend with her little brother/dad and again no time for me, although I was offered to go, but I would find it boring! So I text her earlier and said do you fancy going sphering next weekend, she put maybe? Yes I realise it’s not a no, but next weekend I want to have time with her, all next week she won’t have much time available, and nor this weekend, and I think if she won’t make time for me next weekend… I may consider knocking it on the head and giving up! Any ideas, am I thinking to much? Over-reacting etc etc? I want it for guys and girls points of view? What would you do here?

Become an Expert →
Answer #1

Yep, that’s what he would do.. make a mountain out of a mole hill. :) When I say he demanded too much, I mean.. it was all about HIS needs.. making HIM happy.. he never thought about me.. For example.. my uncle’s funeral was the next day, and he wanted to ‘make out’.. I said I had to get ready for the funeral the next day, so he said ‘Okay, how about tomorrow before the funeral?’’ Whaaat? After that, I got a little distant with him.. it was to the point where I was short when it came to text messages or phone calls.. I didn’t want to do anything with him. I realized I wanted to be alone, so I broke up with him.

I think you should work on the mountain/mole hill issue.. it may not seem like a big deal, but if it bugs her.. it will get bigger if it’s not fixed. She sounds like me a little, so I would definitely talk to her.

Yeah, I’d work 12 hour days… drag myself home.. and deal with him wanting to talk when all I want to do is knock out. lol. Get her in a good mood.. take her to lunch or something.. you know her better than us, you’ll know when to do it. :)

Answer #2

Lol I wouldn’t cry.. that might be unattractive to her. :] She said she doesn’t always feel great about you… did she tell you why? Can you think of anything you’re doing that’s making her feel that way? A similar thing happened with me and my ex, and I was in your girlfriend’s position, so I’ll tell you what happened: He was very clingy… and kind of a sissy la la lol.. He demanded too much from me and gave very little back.. anyway, towards the end I just didn’t want to be around him, wouldn’t kiss him.. I couldn’t talk to him about what was bothering me because he’d make a huge deal out of it.. so I just broke up with him.

If she doesn’t even really kiss you, there’s a problem.. you should talk to her.. make sure it’s not after she worked 16 hours.. make sure it’s not when she’s in a bad mood. If she doesn’t want to talk about it, leave it alone and let her tell you when she’s ready.. It’s complicated but I hope you guys get through it. :)

Answer #3

Those are some funky tactics haha, not sure I could rock any tears out! It’s an odd situation, because I’m mad about her and do treat her like a real princess, but just last two weeks things seem different and thats why I’ve started to think like, mmm, is she going off me? Or am I just being paranoid?

Answer #4

Thanks for your advice/support :) Little update I took her out for dinner then bowling last night, it was a nice evening, we got home and into bed then we started moaning and the whole mood sank really badly… I couldn’t believe it, I was close to giving up right there (Said to her maybe it’s over to her and shall we just leave it at that), but after we moaned and moaned I somehow threw in a joke and the mood changed and we started kissing and yh… the night worked out well! :D Not 100% re-assured everything is great, but happy enough and super pleased the evening/this morning ended nice and that the bad feeling when we first got into bed won’t linger over the whole weekend we have apart!

Answer #5

Lol wow sounds like it’s not really working out. If she has no time to spend with you and when you sometimes feel sad, That could be sign that it’s not really a physcial relationship it’s a mental relationship. Oh and about the whole her turning you down for sex it’s normal us girls sometimes tend not in the mood or just simply not really into having sex that offen. Just do someting nice for her like take her out to dinner or something and im pretty sure she’ll be in the mood for some naughty time with you ;) lol and if not then umm.. I don’t know you should just move on ..

Answer #6

We’ve had a few playground arguments over not much, I make a mountain over a mole hill and that really bugs her about me! There could be a few other things, but she is the kinda girl that won’t say ought and then just be like it’s over and then they all come out!!!

Also what do you mean when you say “ he demanded to much and gave very little back”? Do you mean sexually? Or as in, not take you out, treat you, make you laugh etc etc?

Thanks for the advice on the speaking about stuff when she is tired, I have done that a few times… I’ll definately remember that now :)

More Like This
Advisor

Sex

Sex education, Intimacy, Relationship advice