Why does this happen to the good guys?

We were on break just a little before this but now we are back together and stronger than before, or so I thought. I am trying to be the boyfriend who says no just go ahead and text whoever and not get jelous. But before the break up she had said she wasnt sure if she liked this guy. Hes not around at the moment he is a marine but always is contacting my girlfriend through via text or a social site. Where they always have extended convos and smily faces and cute remarks. How long before I say enough is enough? Where does tthat barrier start? The only thing is I dont want her to think that I am not giving her freedom. At the same time how am I suppose to sit here and read those convos. I’ve caught her lying when I ask who she is texting even though I see his name. I dont want to be thinking bad thoughts someone just tell me how it is.

Answer #1

I’m sort of in the same situation apart from I’m in your girlfriends shoes. Most of my close friends are guys, and at first my boyfriend found it really hard to understand and get used too. Eventually it caused so many arguments we broke up a few times… But now we’re both working at it, and im getting him meet all my friends so he can see for himself, we’re just friends. Don’t let the same thing happen to your relationship…if you trust your girlfriend then try and deal with the fact she does have male friends. I do understand that you dont like trhe fact that they text all the time, and have a close relationship, but just ask her to reassure you, nothing is going on, and that it is just a friendship. Maybe ask her if you can meet him for yourself? I don’t quite understand why she lies about who shes texting though? Do you intergate her and make her feel like she cant tell you who shes talking to, because itll cause an arguements? If not, then I think you should tell her next time that you know shes lieing… because thats not right. Goodluck

Answer #2

Right my opinion here is to ignor mikej45…unless you wanna push her away. I think you have a right to not want her to go, as I think its unfair shes stopping you going because this guy is going. But you can’t stop her, if she goes knowing your not happy about it, I think shes rather selfish. You both need to talk about it, she needs to understand how your feeling about this all. If she loves you and wants you to feel okay about this guy, I think you should both go together. Not to warn this other guiy off, but so she can see how much your willing to make an effort with her friends. If he feels awkward with you there, then thats his problem surely? Just try reassuring her, that you wanna meet him, and get to know him, so you two can possibly be mates too. The fact that she doesnt want you going, to me it would make me question things. I understand you love your girlfriend, but you both need to work out how to communicate. Goodluck and let me know how things go.

Answer #3

It may very well be that she has a small attraction towards this guy. However, it doesn’t mean that they aren’t just friends, because they could be just that. Honestly, I think the best solution is just to talk to her about it. Your right about not wanting to seem like your not giving her freedom, but you want her to know that you care. If you’ve caught her lying in this situation, I think thats a red flag. (This similar situation happened between me and my 1st ex. I didn’t see the red flag until it was too late) If the two of you are in a strong relationship, then there should be no secrets, and no reason for her to lie to you about who she is texting. As far as the extended conversations, cute remarks, and smiley faces go, that could just be their own friendly way of talking. But if you do notice hard core flirting, then yeah maybe it’s time to draw the line there. You don’t want to be the boyfriend who’s a push over, but you don’t want to be controlling either. You have to find the medium. The best solution to anything like this is COMMUNICATION. You have to have a strong communication bond with the person your in a relationship with. That way, you don’t get the whole lying thing. Hope this helped you out -Rachel

Answer #4

you both are reasurring on account you are girls whove had simular situations..thanks for you input but here is a few more things I notice..I really dont interigate her about it but I have brought it up and she knows this guy likes her. we had a sit down with a close friend who tried helping us talk openly how we felt and I brought up this fact. pointed out the things that he says and how she responds are flirty. she finally agreed that we were right about this. still more than ever. even tho she says there is nothing to worry about I love you and just trust me I know she is hiding the fact that she is texting him. even tho I said be friends tallk laugh but do not flirt. im a pretty laid back guy but I dont want to be a push over. so when I bring him up she gets defensive. at one point she said that when he comes back to our town him and her best friend along with her boyfriend are all going to six flags with each other and she doesnt want me to go. I asked why because he would feel akward? as quick as possible she said yes in a manner where I was challenging her. I lover her to death but I am not gonna let her go so six flags with a guy ik likes her..but I dont know what to do. I dont want to sneak around her back but I have to hold my ground right?

Answer #5

tell that guy stop texting or talking to her making the little fucking smily faces and shit tell her calm down whos in the relationship me and you or you and him when you said she said but before the break up she had said she wasnt sure if she liked this guy thats when you shouldve known she likes this guy a lil bit so you should be thinking whoa and your thinking your not giving her enough freedom your giving her to much freedom clamp down on her a little she might get to out of hand

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