Home More advice Love & Relationships
I think it started 3 years ago with X... I can't say we had a good start, it was messy and confusing. As much as I wanted to commit, the only answer I got from him was that he COULDN'T on his part because he was still unable to get over his ex girlfriend. I know most girls would have chosen to fled with such a reply but I held on because I love X so much. Still he brought me out to meet his friends and he told them that he was confused about me and stuff like that. Then his parents came over for holiday and he told me he wanted me to meet up with them... Of course I was excited, I thought it was a sign and I waited eagerly for the day to come but I never got the chance to... He never contacted me during that period until his parents left... Still I waited for X for 2 years before he finally told me he was ready and we OFFICIALLY became a couple last year.
Shortly after we started, I discovered some pictures on his lap top while I was surfing the net... I saw pictures of his parents when they were here for holiday and his ex was with them. To me they looked really happy like a family in those pictures... Why did he even bother to ask me to meet his parents?! And left me hanging on thin thread? Maybe I was stupid... I confronted him and also forgave him...
Since the incident, I lost my trust for X... I will find myself checking his phone and I found messages sent to the ex who spent time with his parents and also to yet ANOTHER ex whom he always described as Psycho... I know they have met up through the messages sent... There was also one time he spent an hour plus talking to this 'psycho' at 4 in the morning. Besides these 2, there is yet another girl whom he texts, saying things like 'I want to see you' and 'Take a cab down to see me and I will pay for your fare'... I know I shouldn't be snooping around, I should respect his privacy but I do not understand why this man, who claims he loves me so much would want to continue doing all these even though I told him I was uncomfortable with his existing 'relationships' with his exs... and he 'flirting' around! And he promised he will stop contacting them but its still going on...
I may have lost my trust in this man but the only reason why I am still hanging on is only because I still love him very much... I can't strike a balance in this relationship because I can't trust him anymore and I know I need help... My friends think I should leave him but I can't... I find myself going back to him after some time. What is wrong with me...?
I want to be able to trust him again... I want to have my own life and be myself again...
Hunny, I was in the same situation as you. If he hasn't stopped it is beause he is not planning to. 1st. that was really messed up what he did when he told you to meet his parents and left you hanging and decided to bring the Ex 2. He is talking to an ex at 4 in the morning (does he call or talk to you at that time?) 3. He is still calling and texting the Ex, which means when ever he has a problem with you he is going to run back to her to comfort him. I dont believe in a man in a relationship or married should be having single woman and ex girlfriends as a friend. and if you told him about this and how it is bothering you and he still does it. He is not going to change he still has feelings for her and you are always going to be 2nd in his life. you may love him but you can't be stressing and waiting for him to change. You have to remember all the things he did to you, You do not deserve to live you life hoping for a change. Stop crying, Drop the looser, get up call some single friends get all nice and sexy hit a night club and have some fun to get your mind off this Bastard. and with patience you are going to find a guy that is right for you. and is going to put you 1st.. look at me now if I would have not done what I am telling you I would of still be hoping my ex will change and I would have not met my husband who puts me 1st before anybody even his own family... and now we have 2 beautiful little girls and are happy.. Good luck..
When you love someone so much like you love this guy it's hard to let go no matter how badly he messes up. I've been there so I know what I'm talking about... You find yourself forgiving each and every time thinking that it won't happen again or that he will come around. The truth is that it won't change.No matter how much you love and want him, if he's not into it from the beginning then forget it! How many times did he mess up, huh? Are you blind? Yup. You are because that's what love does to ya. You may not be able to realize or accept his behavior right now, but believe me, some day (hopefully soon) you wil wake up and realize that he is a jerk, that he does not deserve any more chances, and that you deserve so much better! The worst thing you can deal with is a guy who doesn't know what the heck he wants- trust me!
OMG!! im in the exact same situation!!! Thats fricken crazy!!!
ITS PROBABLY BECAUSE HE CHOOSE TO AND HE MIGHT STILL LUV THEM
