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Why do such small things escalate to huge fights?

My boyfriend and I love each other we have hopes to get married one day. But recently, we have been fighting a lot. Usualy these fights begin with tiny things, things that don’t really matter, then tehy escalate to huge fights where sometimes we feel we need to take time apart afterwards. I’m tired of this, I want these fights to end, and so does he, I lvoe him. So I just wanted some insight on why you think this keeps happening and what we can do to stop it from happening again.

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Answer #1

It’s usually ego and defensive behaviour. Throw in basic communication problems between men and women and you get a nice hot bonfire going. And after a dy of not talking to each oher, most of us can admit it wasn’t worth it… Try both letting your guards down… with answeres like this:

“Yeah, you’re right, i do tend to (for example) jump to conclusions. I’ll have to watch that… thanks for pointing it out to me…”

“I’m sorry I hurt yur feelings. That was inconsiderate of me.”

“I know it’s not easy when I have to work on Saturdays… maybe I should cut back my hours so we can spend more time together.”

These are just examples of answers that are disarming to your partner, rather than the old stuff of “It’s not my fault…” or “Why do you always have to go on at me?”

It’s not an overnight change, and it has to be done by both of you. Good luck!

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