Why do some of you do this?

Why is it, that when a person pours their heart out, looking for some sort of advice to help them deal with their situation, some people reply by giving an account of their own personal experience, without actually answering the question?

I can understand that you can learn things from other people’s experiences, but when you just tell your story without actually offering a solution, or turning around and saying something like ‘yeah, so, good luck with that’, then how is that helping?

It almost seems like some people just want to make everything all about themselves…that’s my interpretation, anyway…

Anyone else have an opinion?

Answer #1

I think you just answered your own question…

People write down their experience because it’s through that experience that they are able to give advice.

What we have here is just an incomplete answer.

YOu should make a new rule on funadvice:


Answer #2

That’s a legitimate answer if someone is just looking for others to relate to them..but when someone says ‘what do I do’…that’s not an answer.

You can still offer a solution, even if it’s not the perfect one - it’s still something for the person to work with.

However, I do agree with you - it is better than no answer at all.

Answer #3

They want people to know what they’ve been through. They want attention. They want to let the asker know that there’s someone else in this world who knows what it’s like.

Answer #4

Yes, and as I said - that’s admirable…but it doesn’t answer the question.

People are asking for a solution, not a story.

Answer #5

because want you to know they can relate… that they dont necessarly have an answer but that your not alone.

Answer #6

Not every problem has a solution darling. Sometimes you need to hear what other people have been thru. Does rape have a solution?No. but hearing someone else go thru the same thing and knowing that they are okay helps. Its better than no answer at all.

Answer #7

…how is that relevant to my question?

Is it because you wanted to share your own view on something that bothers you? See? This is exactly what I’m talking about!

Answer #8

y do people ask stupid questions? like whats your fave song or color or icecream wtf! lol

Answer #9

People do that so you can relate to there story, by the end sometimes they don’t even realize they didn’t give a solution. Some people are just big headed and you just look over there stories. But elderly people for example explain things through there life stories and if you listen closely you will learn a great deal. so yeah sure its annoying to listen to everyones story but if I can get you farther in life without as many mistakes and misunderstandings then why not listen to it.

Answer #10

Again, sometimes there isnt a solution. Some of those stories that you are talking about might have a hidden solution.. There isnt a CERTAIN answer thats going to solves everyones problems for example if its an answer you know forsure like 2+2=4 then okay I agree noone should put about how they found that out but now if your boyfriend is being on edge with you and he’s being different what worked for you might not work for them, everyones different we deserve variety and past experiances provide that.

Answer #11

Well met, Irene :)

Answer #12

And, one guy got disabled for his answer here :)

Thing is, it HURTS our site when that happens…which is why (thank you) somebody was asking about it.

Yes, sharing your experience might be helpful, but (as marianna86 said) if you don’t tie it back to how or why it might be helpful to hear (well, read) that as the asker of the question…you’re hurting the site, giving somebody a bad experience and more than likely, contributing to their decision to leave, if they do.

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