Why Am I So Shy?

I’m 19 years old and am the most shy person in the world! I used to be very quiet at school, I never got involved in anything and I never had a big group of friends. I never spoke to buys until I was 15 and even then I would be shaking as I spoke to them.

I have lived away from my parents for around a year and a half. I have a great boyfriend, and he’s really confident… when I’m around him I feel it’s easier to talk to people… but when I’m in college I really cannot.

I have been in college for 4 months now and have yet to make friends, everyone has their little groups and I am the loner. I am not bad looking, but yet no guys even speak to me! And neither do the girls. I guess I don’t have a great personality, but I do beneath it. I try to make conversation, but I find myself talking about the weather and then it just stops and it is pointless. People tend to find me boring.

I feel so stupid, I chat to people on the internet to try and make friends, but it is different than talking face to face.

I am too nervous, I find it hard to even make phone calls, like to work if I need a day off or soemthing, I’ll ring my mum and ask her to do it for me. I have little independance, but I don’t understand as I have lived alone for over a year.

I often feel like a 9 year old inside a 19 year old’s body.

Any advice?

Answer #1

I used to be very shy as well, and it goes away as you build your self confidence. Chances are people really dont find you boring at all. Many people probly dont even care to notice whether or not you are shy, they probly do notice that you stick to yourself and probly assume that you like it that way. I know its hard to go out and make friends, but try talking to people. if talking is really hard, just try listening in to their jokes and laughing when you think its funny. Smile. try to be approachable.

I would even go as far as asking your boyfriend to help you gain more confidence. If you are in a group of people and he is talking, ask him to make a joke that only you can reply to. for instance my boyfriend likes to joke to his friends that I wear the pants in the family when he is in front of his friends, and he usually says something ridiculous like “dont beat me”. this gives me a chance to either play on the joke…like dont worry I wont beat you tonight you have been a good boy, or deny it say of course I dont beat him. but the point is that I am talking in front of others in a way in which I know they are not thinking negatively about me.

Having help like this has really boosted my self esteem in a short amount of time. If your not the funny type of person, then laughing and smiling is usually enough to show happiness when around others.

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