Who should I come out to?

I’m a 16 year old male, and I’m gay. I haven’t told anyone, yet. I’d like to. I’m really not sure who I should tell because my family is extremely homophobic and religious. They are already upset because I’ve gotten a septum piercing, hips, bellybutton, eyebrow,ear, snakebites, and ect. And that I’ve taken into the more… Gothic culture. Like, jet black hair different colors, overly long fringe. To top it off, I am 5’9 and I am 110 pounds. Everyone I know thinks I’m anorexic. I was thinking about telling one of my friends that’s a girl. I haven’t really given one of my guy friends much thought because they’ll probably think after I’ve told them that I’m going to try to hit on them. I really don’t know if they will understand completely. So who should I come out to? Other details: I have once tried coming out to my parents before, through a story. That “one of my friends” came out to his parents and I said that his parents kicked him out of the house. My mother responded with “good, that boy is a filthy fool and will burn in hell till he can’t imagine.” My dad said “ Son, I don’t know what I’d do if my own son would want to go shopping instead of playing some catch with his own father” So I decided I would not tell them. ( I was 14 then. )

Answer #1

Religious families can be difficult to work with sometimes. I love my family dearly but I am definitely the black sheep of the family. My family is very religious and I’m more into the punk culture… I have piercings, drink a lot and smoke too often.. my point being that they don’t know any of it. They know about the piercings but that is the extent. It is exhausting trying to be something that I’m not around my family… I imagine that you are feeling the same way?

I say that if you have the chance… then tell them. No matter what their reaction, I bet that you will feel liberated. I am starting to open up to my family a little more because I figure.. they may judge me and that’s fine but I would rather have that then be someone that I’m not. I want my family to know who I am and accept me for who I am and I’m almost to the point of saying… f*ck it, this is me and you either like me or you don’t…

Sorry for the personal anecdotes but I thought it was relevant… good luck with everything and I recommend at least telling one person. Perhaps a good friend. I think you’ll find that you’ll be much more relieved when you have someone to get advice from.

Answer #2

I’ve thought about that. But they would probably confront me about it since they are very confrontational.Also I’ve never had anyone of my close friends say anything. I mean I hope they ask me first because I don’t want to have to tell them.

Answer #3

Well my attitude is - if your parents don’t accept homosexuality, then they don’t accept you, so be prepared for the worst, which could include being ready to move out of home straight away. When I told my parents, I decided in advance that if they didn’t accept me as God made me, then I well get the hell out of there and make my own way in the world, and never speak to them again. Fortunately, I was never rejected in any way and to this day have been fully supported by them. But you are the way you are through no choice of yours, however you do have a choice whether or not to tolerate rejection by your family. My choice is - no way.

Answer #4

start bringing boys home stay in your room dont do sexual thing thou just talk and no boyfriend

Answer #5

to me if you think your gay or you are its you your born that way its not your fault try to explain to them if they love you tey will understand

Answer #6

I imagine your parents would tell you that your too young to know for sure, which they may be right. I honestly recommend you waiting until you are legally an adult and have your parents respect as a responsible person so your words aren’t taken lightly.

Half the world is homophobic on the outside, the top insults relate to calling people gay. I’m not homosexual but I do have 2 friends that are, one of them had religious parents and they didn’t speak to him for 2 years, the other the parents were shocked but understood that it is his choice.

I would come out to a close friend ( I would guess female would be most comfortable) or just keep talking to people online until your ready.

Good luck with everything.

Answer #7

I think they may already know…Just because of how you dress.

Answer #8

Ty. for the advice. I really do hope they will understand. I’m not really sure If I should tell them ever.

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