when everything else seem to matter more to him than me

So you’re upset because he doesn’t put an an extreme effort to call or see you- this would be a very very reasonable issue IF you were in a serious relationship. However, you’re not. As he said, he’s not ready for a serious relationship, which clearly is true due to his job. If you’re not in a serious relationship, there’s a certain lack of something one HAS to do, there are only things one CAN do without trying too hard- and finding time to call when in such a hectic schedule falls under the HAS to do list. I’m sorry you’re in such a difficult situation, but I don’t think there’s much you can do if he’s simply not willing to take the next step with you right now. I also think his lack of responding when you are mature and honest enough to state when you’re upset is childish and definitely does not confirm how he says he cares for you. Also, just “caring” isn’t enough- he has to have that extra feeling that comes along with a relationship. Either he has it, or he doesn’t. Get him to tell you exactly how he feels, and remind him actions speak louder than words. If you still can’t get through to him, do your best to move on and find someone who is ready to be in a relationship that goes both ways. Good Luck!

The problem is, i already have. Since the beginning I have been very understanding and he told me i’ve been very patient with him. I wasnt even clingy at all. Believe me, I’m a very independent person and i hang out with my own friends. But what kind of relationship are we in if, i’m lucky, we see each other every once in 1 and a half weeks? and during this period he doesnt even call, or he only responds to my messages at the end of the day (if he responds at all)? Surely something must be very wrong? I understand his tight schedules are probably not within his control but surely he can find time to call me after work, no matter how late it is, even if it’s for 5 mins? does not calling mean he cares for me? He tells me he wants to take up some hobbies, I encourage him to take it up. I tell him to go out for drinks with his friends. I really dont need to be around him all the time. and the truth is, I dont have the chance nowadays anyway.

What maddens me most is the fact that he always keeps quiet when i am mad at him and tells him my bottled up feelings. He doesnt give me a reply. He doesnt comment. In order to break the silence, I always end telling him 2 days later i’m sorry for bringing the issue up. I feel that I’m alone in this. That is why I cant stay in a relationship that is only driven by me. I feel that he doesnt do anything or at least make an effort to salvage this situation. He says he cares a lot for me. But he still doesnt initiate to call or ask me out. I recently went for an overseas trip and he told me to text him when i’m back. But when i came back and sent him a message, all he replied was: “Cool”. What happened to all the “I-miss-you”s?

I broke up with him only because I am the only one who puts on a fight for us. I am tired, emotionally drained.

But I miss him so much.

What should i do?

Hun>Sounds like the relationship was 1-sided. Also sounds like he cant or doesnt want to make a committment! Has he ever said “i love you?” Maybe the novelty has worn off already with him. Its always hard when only 1 person puts forth all the effort in the relationship, while feeling like the other is just along for a short ride. You have alot of maturity, and common sense to know when something isnt right, and you were smart to end it! Find some1 who is worthy of you. You’ll be happier in the long run.