what would you call this? please answer honestly.

I have been wondering, and this has affected me my entire life. I want to know if any of you can tell me the truth.

When I was younger, I was given the belt when I was bad. I am 15. My father slapped my two brothers and I around when we were bad. Like slapping on the arms, butt, legs, hands. He slapped very hard. He is a strong man, and his slaps hurt like hell. I always felt raw after he slapped me. and I got slapped for things like talking back or hitting my brothers who used to beat me up.

I am a girl, and many of my friends have never been slapped by anyone. And it makes me resentful. Why shud a father have the right to slap around his daughter? After it kept going, I never learned from it. I just got more and more rebellious and resentful. I stil did what I wanted and anticipated a big smakcdown. But I dont think he realized that his slaps turned into hits. I once was screaming swears, because swearing was normal in my house, and yelling, and he just dragged me across the room and was slapping me over and over and calling me names, and then he hit me, and I cried, and he said that it didnt hurt. like I said, he doesnt realize how hard he hits. I hit him back because he was hurting me, and he took both my hands and began smashing them against each other. they felt brusied and numb after, but there was no evidence. and he once sat down on the floor, covering my face, and not realizing he was smushing down my nose. I began to have a nosebleed.

after the nosebleed, my parents told me that it began beelding because I was so upset. I know I have been bad, but do I really deserve that? is this abuse? I have never ever done anything seriously bad in my life, and I can honestly say that and not feel like a liar. I do my best to be the best I can be. my mother does not hit me, she says horrible things to me, swearing, yelling, and making me blame myself for everything. My brothers just beat the crap out of me when they got mad, and I am not exaggerating, they did not get into trouble. Maybe yelled at, but not smacked around. Eventually, I began to believe that I deserved it, and if I said it was abuse, no one would believe me, or that I really was lying. I just need to know, what do you think of this? am I exaggerating?

I love my family so much, more than anything, but is this a common problem? cause when I tried to talk to people about it, no one believed me, threatened to tell, or told me that it was nothing and there were worse situations out there. please help. I cant stand wondering, and I just want to know.