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What to do about BFF

My best friend of 12 years doesn’t answer her phone when people call her- she screens them in voice mail (when the mood strikes her) This is really starting to trouble me and affect our relationship, because if she’s doing it to everybody else; I know this is why I don’t hear back even and especially after leaving detailed messages. I don’t call frivolously or without something important to say. Even when I’m returning her call, I can wait days to hear back. It’s really getting old. She assigns different ring tones to her friends so I know she knows I’m trying to reach her. Any good suggestions as to how to break her of this habit. Everybody we both know is getting angry with her and it hurts me to think she doesn’t care. A mutual friend tried desperately to reach her on an emergency, but she didn’t have the decency to check. What would you do in my shoes? I don’t want to have to give her a taste of her own medicine. She’s my buddy and I care.

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Answer #1

depression or drug addiction, but destinydriven’s answer applies to addiction as well,

but if she doesnt want help, nothing will help.

Answer #2

If I was in your shoes I’d just stop even trying. There’s no use to beat something to death. You can’t point a gun to her head and tell her to answer the phone. So you’re just gonna have to leave it at that and move on. I know its harder said than done but what else can you do? just wait it out.

Answer #3

Lol, that’s hilarious, depression or drug addiction (I should mention it to my best friend, he’s awful with this). He claims he never screens my calls, but of course he does… He is attached to that phone like it is an extension of him, if he isnt picking up, it is because he doesnt want to… I finally just stopped fighting him on it… He is who he is, I couldnt change it, and fighting about it wasnt getting us any where… Although I did know he was always there in case of emergency, so I guess that was different… Another friend of mine never answers, no matter what… There are certain people I know I can count on to always answer the phone, and certain others I know that I cant count on… and if its an emergency, I dont count on them…

Answer #4

I also screens my calls most of the time and also give differant people ringtones. Why? Because sometimes I do not feel like talking to people or I do not want to deal with other peoples problems or I am busy. Everyone has ignored or screened calls. Just because people do that doesn’t mean they don’t care about you it means they do things when they want to do things. Just because you want someone to do something doesn’t mean they have too. Everyone has a differant life and most people will not drop what they are doing to answer there phone or call people back. They do it when they feel like it or have the free time.

Answer #5

Some people find ringing phones terribly invasive.

I’ve seen people leave a hot pan on the stove, interrupt a nice conversation with an old friend (who took the time to walk the person’s house to visit them), let their dinner get cold, trip over something on the floor, forget to pay an online bill… all just to answer a ringing phone.

Some people just mostly get calls from bill collectors and so they stop answering the phone.

Just another viewpoint…

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