What to do?

Recognize that once you step over the line and have the affair - regardless of whether your husband finds out - it has changed the course of your marriage. When you get to a point in your marriage where you are willing to have an affair, it is a sign that you no longer are truly in love with your husband. If you were you would not do something that will most likely devastate him. I know because I had an affair and then my husband found out and was willing to forgive me but I was in love with the new man and couldn’t stay with my husband. I really did not realize how badly I hurt him until the divorce and him showing me how horrible he has felt because of what I did. I would say if you really love your husband you must ask yourself why you would be willing to do something that will hurt him more than anything else in this world. If you look at it that way, you should be able to walk away from this new guy and rededicate yourself to your husband. You must nurture your relationship with your husband - be honest with him, tell him that you are feeling that he has these shortcomings - be very honest and see if you can fix them together. It could be you are feeling your own shortcomings. I think we tend to blame our spouse for our own issues sometimes - they become great scapegoats. Really evaluate yourself and your relationship with your husband. And if you can’t make it work, let your husband go and then have the affair. But there is too much risk of losing your husband for an affair when you aren’t even in love with the guy.