What should I say?

Well, this is slightly complicated, but I’ll try my best to explain & make it short. I’ve been seeing this guy for 16months now, he goes to a Boarding school near me, so I usually see him on Sundays, however in the holidays he lives a long way from me. We’re not official although I’m very clear how I feel about him and love him so much. Recently we made a “deal” (I think this is stupid but I needed an answer and had to compromise) that when we next meet, when schools back we’ll be official, however many times before his said to me, depending on how things go next term we could talk about going out etc and never have, I said this to him and he said he was stupid then and admited he was scared that if he went out with me he wouldn’t be good enough because I “hype” up how much I love him. I agreed to the deal, however told him I wouldn’t forgive me if he let me down but I told him he had the chance to say no and to end everything between us, so I don’t think I pushed him into it. I’m trying not to think about him. Since we made the deal, I haven’t spoken to him much, just for like 5minutes on two occasions, just like the normal hey how are things?! His going away for two weeks on Wednesday which for me is a long time not to speak to him at all. He’s said he’ll come on msn tonight so we can talk to each other, however I really don’t know what to say to him. I really miss him, but I don’t want to say things that are in his face if that makes sense, although I want him to realize what his missing out on and think about me. This is so hard for me, I want to do what’s best for him and give him space but I also would like to talk to him because no matter what I do, I still have so many feelings for him. So bascially my advice is, what should I say to him, how should I come across ? etc Please give me your advice, it will be much appreciated :) x