After two bad marriages, three kids, and a life of tragedy. I started to get more involved with my family. A couple of years ago I saw my cousin who I haven't seen in 13 years. As children we loved to play together and he always held a special place in my heart. Well last weekend, he told me how much he loves me and I love him just as much. We are grown not teenagers and I feel this could really cause a ruckus in our family. HOWEVER. I cannot stop the love we feel for each other. It is deep. Right now we plan to keep it on the down low. My kids won't know for a while. Any advice? I have some statistics on this subject but I need to test the waters.
Albert Einstein married his first cousin. And so did Charles Darwin, who had exceptional children.
26 states allow first cousin marriages; most people can marry their cousin in the US.
No European country prohibits marriage between first cousins. It is also legal throughout Canada and Mexico to marry your cousin. The U.S. Is the only western country with cousin marriage restrictions.
The frequency of cousin marriages in the USA is about 1 in 1,000. The frequency of cousin marriages in Japan is about 4 in 1,000
It is estimated that 20 percent of all couples worldwide are first cousins. It is also estimated that 80 percent of all marriages historically have been between first cousins!
In some cultures, the term cousin and mate are synonymous.
Franklin D. Roosevelt, the longest serving US president in history married his cousin (not a first cousin, however they shared the same last name).
Leviticus 18 lists all forbidden sexual relationships. Cousin relationships are not included.
God commanded many cousins to marry, including Zelophehad's 5 daughters, Eleazar's daughters, Jacob (who married both Rachel and Leah, first cousins), and Isaac and Rebekkah (first cousins once removed)
It is likely that Joseph and Mary -- Christ's earthly parents were first cousins.
We are all cousins. No two people are more distantly related than 50th cousins.
So is it okay for 30something cousins to fall in love and build a life together?
SHI
Dear shibutterfli, This has been discussed here before...the consensus was it is not morally acceptable to most. Although legal in some states and in Canada it is illegal in some areas still. If you do agree to marry some states require you to promise in writing that you will not have children...the risks are high for blindness and disorders (I knew a couple who married in Canada and both children were blind and one died from a blood condition.) Will family and friends accept this: probably not...the fact that you are hiding it says a lot as well. There is comfort in someone familiar especially after a tough go but there is a blur with boundaries when it's blood. I think you'll find most of the advice will be against this relationship. We love a lot of people in our lives that doesn't mean we establish this type of a relationship with them. You may benefit from counselling where they can have you understand the different loves we have and get your boundaries set a little firmer. Sue...good luck
Jeez, how many times do people have to keep saying that... the U.S. is NOT the only western country with cousin marriage restrictions. New Zealand, for instance is a western country that does not allow 1st cousins to marry. I believe Australia is the same.
Look, if you want to pursue things with your cousin, thats entirely your choice and up to you. I would be more concerned about how your children and family would take it, rather than whether its morally wrong because as you've pointed out its condoned in many countries. After all, they're going to be the ones most affected by it all.
You argue too much. The only point that would be risky is having a common baby. I do not advice that, and taking the risk would be unethical. But being in love is absolute OK. Well, it is better if you do not tell that to all people in your environment. People like to make judgements.
