How should I deal with my daughter's real dad?

I have an 8 yr old daughter I got pregnant with her when I was 14 and her father didnt want anything to do with her and then I met this guy and I’ve been with him for almost 8 years now and she calls him dad and they are together all the time but on her 8th birthday her real dad called her and sent her a present and the guy im with is getting mad and doesnt want him to talk to her and he wants me to make him stop calling but my daughter is so excited to finally be able to talk to her real dad. what should I do??

Answer #1

It is absolute natural that your daughter has got very excited, since she was always dreaming about his natural father, who just disappeared from her life. Ask your present partner, the step dad of your daughter, to stop the (very understandable) jealousy. Mainly, he must not show his feelings to your daughter. Believe me, after the first few occasions when the kid and his natural father will see each other, the kid will return her normal life, into that family where she IS growing up, and when she has got all the security of the life, what you and your partner gave her. Do not tell any bad about her natural father when she is present, but tell about the truth; the natural father disappeared and let you down without any material and emotional support. But do not lament, be correct and short. If you treated the kid the right way till this time, she will be able to discriminate between the “interesting”, and the trustworthy “fathers”. If I were your partner, and your daughter’s step dad, then I would invite the natural father to the house, and I would be not much but a bit friendly with him. And after shaking hands I would say something like that “ see, this is my family and home”. Even the kid will understand that. And I would meet him mainly because I would be curious of his character, what you two (plus the kid) may expect from his side. E.g. you can let the kid with him go out of the house and be only together or not. This is a big responsibility. So please, think always of your responsibility, and not of your emotions in this respect. And when the kid is present, please, keep smiling. Do mot make or show any drama.

Answer #2

As much as I hate to say this…her natural father does have the right to come back into her life…maybe something happend to him and he knows now that he F’d up and now wants to be a part of HIS daughters life…and yes the step dad had all the right in the world to be mad but at the same time he has no say so in this matter…at the end of the day he is not her real father…yes he cares for her aand for the last few years has been her father figure but still not her father…tell him to stop being selfish and think about the little girl whos always wanted to see her real father…its all about her not about the bad blood between 3 adults

Answer #3

This is a tough one. Reassure your guy and let him know that even though her real Dad is calling and trying to be in the picture after all thes years that He is still her Father. He is the one who has taken care of her and given her the love and time that she needed. So He will always be her real father in your eyes! I would watch your daughters biological Dad though. She may be excited to see him and he may act as if he wants to be there for her but he could easily do the same thing again. You don’t want her heartbroken when he walks away.

Answer #4

he has kind of a point. He has been fathering your daughter for all of her life and then all of a sudden her real dad from out of the blue rings her and sends her a present he’s bound to be upset.

Even though he’s gettin mad and he walked out on you and your daughter, your daughter has the right to speak to her biological dad.

Talk with your partner and explain how your daughter needs to see he biological dad aswell.

Answer #5

You can tell her the real thrut because the father is not the guy that stuck you the baby, is the one that is with you and your dauther now.

Answer #6

thanks for the advice.

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