what now? shgould I have forbidden love or not to love at all?

ok so I got a new boyfriend, on 4-20, of this year, well anyways, his parents did not like him having a girlfriend and same for my parents and they told him “ Dump her, or give up everything” and he dumped me, I would of too, but he still likes me and I still like him ,I know this…. then at his party yesterdays we were all like friends and I was sleepy and I fell asleep on him, well when I woke they all were watching a movie, and I joined them on the floor, we started to play like taboo, and after that me and my ex started to talk and we ended up cuddling and then making out on his couch in front of some of his friends, and I wanted to stop him but it felt like sooo right, so I did nothing, and I told him it was wrong, and he told me he does not care what his parnets think, and that we would not have to tell any one, and I mean it was a great night, but now I do not know what to do? what would you do ???


Oh his name is jonathan and he is the sweetest guy I know

Answer #1

Alright, to the last guy who posted right before this new post: Stop and think. I agree with a lot of what you said, about telling white lies or not being mature, which is why I said not to lie and to be honest with the parents because to be mature enough to go against them must mean they must be mature enough to be honest about what they are doing. However, when you said if you don’t respect your parents’ wishes you obviously don’t (or can’t) respect yourself, that’s completely out of line and I don’t think you thought that through. That was extremely general, and not a fair statement. Many parents can be closeminded and have unrealistic or unfair demands, going against them ONCE does not mean you don’t respect them. And also, I know many people who respect others and themselves to a great extent, but do not respect their parents. And acting as though those who tried to be helpful were simply being idealistic or immature isn’t what giving advice is about- stick to giving your own advice instead of trying to put down or shut out what other people say. Please.

Answer #2

Wait a minute. These other answers obviously come from irresponsible idealogues. If you are worried about your parents or if he is worried about “losing everything” then you are WAY to immature to have this relationship. When you are olde enough to stand on your own and independently decide for yourself when who or where to have a relationship, then go fo rit. But until then, do what your elders tell you to do. They are VERY much mor ein tune with the real world than you are regardless of what you think your hormonal urges are telling you at the moment. Listening to a song is not going to solve your problem, “little white lies” may be the reason that they are telling you two “no” in the first place! If you are not able to respect your families wishes then you certainly are not able to respect yourself. It is NOT yourlife yet, when you come of age then of course that changes but until then do the right thing and dont give in to “what makes you feel good” or whatever, that is irresponsible and immature-it can also lead to TONNES of other problems in the long run.

Answer #3

But the point is that regardless of whether you like a person or not, you will be living with your parents. Like it or not! Of course anyone can be close minded but regardless of that fact, (and this may be presumptious) this person is dependant upon their parents. Whether it be for approval, or a roof over them or even food! Since this is the point, it is irrevlevent if they are close minded or not-you must respect them. If a person is dependant upon another person for those things then that person has an influence upon your well being. To disrespect (now, mind you, I do not say that discussion or disagreement is not valid) would be to cause yourself and the other individual more harm! So even if you do not care for yourself but claim to care for this other person, then it is better to look out for them and not cause them unneeded harm. So ultimately, if there really is some sort of ultimate love for the other person then you should consider what you and the other person stand to loose if you are unable to wait until your are both independent and able to make these decisions yourself. I hope I have made myself clearer, I do stand by my well thought out answer. My statement about not respecting yourself still is a good statement. Since a person that cares nothing for what happens to themselves (such as loosing the support of yours and his parents) or the other person involved in the trist are not able to respect themselves or the other person.

Answer #4

If you are mature enough to have a relationship against your parents’ wishes, you’re mature enough to talk to them about it. I would say talk to your parents as though you and him are not going out, you just want to prove a point to them, ask them WHY you can’t have a boyfriend. Tell them that you would appreciate it if they listened and tried to understand your side, and you will do your best to do the same for them. If they see you’re behaving rationally and maturely, maybe they’ll change their mind. If not, then I say go out with the guy and just don’t tell your parents about it. If they ask, though, try not to lie and tell them that you chose to follow your feelings rather than listen to something you didn’t think was right. Good Luck.

Answer #5

Set the house on fire and move to mexico. That’s the ONLY solution.

But really, just do whats right for you. And also, listen to ‘It’s My life - Bon Jovi’ alot. It helps.

Answer #6

if you guys really like each other than have a relationship. make sure ppl know but like your first answer tell your parents you like him a lot but are too young for dateing so they think that you are obeying them . but it seems like you really like him and he likes you so who knows don’t miss out on your dream guy because other ppl are interfering in your way .

Answer #7

Well I have been keeping a relationship behind my mom’s back for 6 months now. Yeah it sucks having to lie about it all the time but then again its like this guy could be “the one.” You absolutely have to follow your heart on this one. If this person is worth it then I say its worth keeping the one that you love right by your side. Me and my bf have broken up a couple of times because of this whole drama with my mom not liking him because of his age. But then again its like, shell never know the true feelings that I have inside for this guy. And my happiness is more important than other peoples opinions especially if they haven’t even gotten to know the person. :) stick with it! Its gonna be ok

Answer #8

Ok, so we , me and him, talked and we both agreed we would give it a try, and so far i think he likes it and i like it, my parents still do not know and his father kinda knows…… but i feel better now, well i told him i liked it when the guy would lead the relationship, cuz i was before… i sucked at leading, so he found out he likes calling most of the shots and yeah, i think i will wait like 2 or 3 weeks before telling my parents …… well thanks for the advice, this site rules!

Head over heels, Shelley

Answer #9

Ok shelley this may seem like the most obvious advice U’ll probably get on this subject but its also the smartest. U & ur guy continue Ur relationship & if nebody (other than either of Ur parents) ask then U tell them that Ur still together. But if either of Ur parents ask then Ur just friends. Don’t feel bad, its just a lil white lie & I’m sure ur parents have told U a few while U were growing up (Just don’t make a habit outta it)

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