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What if we didn't begin marriage the way God intended?

I have been with my husband for 7 years this May. Married to him for 4 years this month. We have 3 children the oldest will be 6 in June. As you can see, we obviously didn’t do this the way God intended. I know what the bible says about divorce, and frankly I don’t want to divorce, but have been contemplating because we live in two different states and he says we won’t be together anytime soon.

I used to believe it was God’s will that we were together, particularly b/c of our first child. I want to have faith that this is forever, but I fear my husband has given up on the marriage. I’ve read a lot today on what God says about marriage.

What do you feel God believes about my marriage? Do the rules on divorce differ because of the way we began? I know what I think and I’m looking for confirmation.

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Answer #1

Where this scripture is exactly, I can’t recall, but it says very clearly, “be ye reconciled one to another.” We are the workmanship of God, the very image of God if you will. Society has this terrible idea that if we are unhappy with our current marriage, throw it away and get another one. No thanks to Hollywood. On a personal note however, my wife and I have been together 17yrs and married 14yrs this year. I can’t tell you how many times we came to the brink of divorce because things just became dead between us, or finances, or just plain lathergy in the marriage. God was the focal point of our wedding day and we held fast to that even in the darkest moments. We tried counseling both Christian and non - Christian to no avail. It wasn’t until we resolved to be totally devoted to Christ and His working in our hearts and minds that we could come together again. God gave us a very distinct view on how He wants to be the “HEAD” of our house and we followed and obeyed. This is no small task and has taken its toll on us because we had to “die to self” in order that we both may live. The result?? A marriage that has been restored, renewed, invigorated and healthy. We still have set backs of course but who doesn’t? We pray for and with each other and attend church together. Be encouraged, God knows your heart and your husbands and he will work out the details in His time. Be patient and wait on Him. Keep the communication open and enjoy each other as much as you can when you can. Having read most of, if not all, the scriptures on marriage ourselves we can say that even if things turn not the way you hope, He is still God. BUT God is much more in favor of a healed marriage because after all He is the author of the covenant relationship. We will pray for you both.

Answer #2

Biblically, from a NT perspective, the only allowable reason for divorce is infidelity. That said, the Bible is just a silly ancient collection of propaganda. Do what you see fit.

Answer #3

Divorce is only bad if you go and get with another man. But you should also think about your children and talk to him about it because divorcing would effect them a lot.

Answer #4

One of you has to sacrifice to bring the family back together and move to the other. location. I live apart from my husband right now, but divorce is not an option for us. we know at this time its not possible to be together, so we just get more into God by ourselves seeking what he has for us. right now its healing. Divorce is something that God says was given for stubborn nice. it is not his plan and should be avoided at all cost. your husband needs to seek God and if God tells him. which He won’t. If he really and truly seeks God He will have to admit it is not His plan.

Answer #5

What does the Bible say about divorce? I am a Mormon and we believe that people can be married not only for this life as in death do you part but if preformed in the Temple by someone having the proper authority it is forever. That being said there is times and I am sure the bible don’t disagree when people should not stay together. And I am sure that in the long run as in your case if the love is gone or being given somewhere else and niether party is happy that union should end. And then you won’t be sinning if you marry again. The would be someone else that would love and take care of you and the children.

Answer #6

If you are looking for answers based on what God thinks you have probably already read them. I have heard different things about what God says about divorce. I have heard that he only approves it if there is physical abuse or adultry. But in todays world, things do not always start and end the way God intended. (Obviously, I mean look at todays divorce rate) I honestly do not believe that the rules change with different situations. After being together so long, you know that marriage is not easy and some things can be solved and some cannot.

Answer #7

amblessed, thank you for the wisdom you impart.

Answer #8

The way you started your marriage is irrelevant now. It’s your present and your future which matter - you have a marriage and I couldn’t improve on amblessed’s advice for how to work at it. You have my very best wishes and prayers…

Answer #9

Read the Bible and you will understand!:)

Answer #10

This dissolution of a marriage is such a sad thing. Christ longs to bring fulfillment to a couple through their marital covenant. A Christian marriage is a beautiful thing built on love, trust, respect and, most importantly, Christ. Read what the Bible say to husbands and wives in 1 Peter 3:1-7, Ephesians 5:21-33, and 1 Corinthians, chapter 7.

Remember, all things are possible through Jesus Christ–even the restoration of your marriage. Jesus healed the sick and raised the dead; surely He can resurrect your hurting relationship! Please, seek godly counsel today. Don’t let another day pass while the chasm between you and your spouse grows wider and wider.

Before you embark on that mission, though, spend some quiet time in prayer and reflection, yourself. Be sure that your heart is right before God. Allow the Holy Spirit to show you where your impurities are in regard to your marriage before you point out your spouse’s. Ask the Lord to show you what His plan is for your relationship. Finally, ask the Lord to give you what you need to make it work: commitment to the covenant; love for your spouse; understanding and forgiveness like you have been given by God; and God’s eyes as you look at your spouse…Hope this hlps !!

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