What do you think of this?

pens write with ink

no. no that’s not right. Not now that I think about it. Pens write with blood or gray matter or spit That is incarnated into ink it’s transubstantiation, silly

I dropped my bottle The ink spreads not so slowly Over this page and over onto my fingers My desk, my dog, my carpet, my ceiling Onto you I’m sorry, I stained your pants This kind of ink doesn’t come out. And with a little bit of Hi, nice to meet you You’re all smeared and stained up

So tell me what you think, please. Obviously, don’t just make pointless comments, and try not to say “it’s good” or “it’s bad.” I don’t mind if you like it or hate it, but try to be constructive.

Answer #1

Wow everyone’s submitting poems today hehe =]

It’s really great - I like the whole extended metaphor to it. I love it.. I keep on reading it over and over again to fully get it.. Well done =]

xxx

Answer #2

I really like it. only one line through me off “”The ink spreads not so slowly “” for some reason it seems out of place to me. Like you have the terrific beat going throughout the whole thing and that one line is different

Answer #3

I really liked the first stanza but the rest didnt really appeal to me

Answer #4

CAN YOU STOP WASTING PEOPLES TIME PLEASE

THANX BABE

RACIST TO MEXICANS TO HEY ?

Answer #5

Thank you very much!

And to Sika, what about that line don’t you like? Do you feel it disturbs the rhythm?

Answer #6

your so g00d :]

Answer #7

Creative and unique very well done and thoughtful Like a spider sippting tea I loved it

Answer #8

What the hell?

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