What do you think?


I've known this guy for around 8 months now.
He's acting like, and I am being serious when I say this, that he's in love with me.
I've told him, maybe in the future, but I'm not ready now.
He says he respects that and he will wait "as long as it takes". He calls me every night and we talk for hours.
I get a good morning text as well as a good night text each day, and we text throughout the day. We used to always have msn chats, but I hardly have time and I have a cellphone so we just call and text.
He's constantly saying how beautiful he thinks I am, how stunning. He talks about how there are so many coincidences...and it's true It's kind of scary...
Like his name means light mine means dark. We were both born under half moons. I was working one day ( I work in retail) and this woman handed me her card and when I went to enter the number it had his phone number on the card!

And I'm not superstitous...but even for the first 4 months I was so cold and rude and shut him down. I'd call him an imbecile and stupid and retarded that I thought he was a creep and I didn't have any interest in talking to him...
He constantly calls me pet names and talks about being with me, and should that day come how happy he'd be.
And I'm sitting there going, "BUDDY. FRIENDS!!!"

And he just says, "Yes, of course we are"
And then stops being so intense.

Thing is he was talking to me and pursuing me for the first 4 months we were talking but then I found out now that he stopped and went out with another girl...
I know it because I shut him down so much and all that...but then he came back.
he told me its completely over with her, but I can't help but feel like I was a fall back.
Even still I was cold until I finally realized I just couldn't get rid of him.
And I feel like something inside is just compelling me!

So I'm here now. Talking to him all the time and he gets SO passionate.
Just the other night we were talking and he said, "I really miss you..."
He visited me last week at work, and he lives 50 minutes away. He drove all the way out.
OH and when he found out I'd be at an event in the city he drove out there just to find me. He messaged me when I got there and said "I'm here, why don't we go for coffee?"
He's so gentleman like...but pushing so hard...
I don't know yet.
Plus I am christian and I want to be with a christian guy. I've told him this and he said he's got an open heart and faith is growing but it wont happen overnight. And I said I want him to change for him and he agreed.

So last night we were talking and I was drifting off to sleep and he started talking...
"I miss you...I just want to pull you in close and let my lips touch your ear, trail down your neck, let my breath touch you, let my hand come down your back and pull you in, my fingers trailing and tightening you in an embrace..."
And when I realize what he was saying I was like, "HOLD UP MAN. WE ARE FRIENDS. DO NOT CROSS THAT BOUNDRY."

He said he was sorry and he'd never do it again, but that he wasn't going to lie and said he was imagining us together at that moment..

I dont know what to think.
Am I not being more clear?
Is something driving us together?
What about my faith and this feeling of supposive being together!?
I'm so confused and after him saying that I found myself wanting more...but I knew it was wrong and that I couldn't cross that and I was stern saying, "NO. NO MORE."

I feel like if I wasn't as emotionally mature as I am I would be completely taken.
Should I feel wary about this? Should I be worried about his ex or his past or if he really means everything he says? Should I be thinking he's a creeper again and that he's emotionally devoid or...? I've never been in a relationship and I just am not sure!
What do you guys think, please help I am so confused I want to cry.

Not to mention he'd 23 and I'm 17!!!
And we both agreed waiting is best but I'm so confused cause he's so INTENSE!!


1 answers

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ANSWER #1 of 1

the things he says and does are crossing the freinds boundary.
he is stalking you to a point, and sounds like he has obsessive behaviour.
your not doing anything wrong, as youve made it clear you just want to be freinds. but it sounds like this guy wont stop.
sometimes people can become very obsessed with someone they dont know, or just met.
things like knowing you were going to an event and coming just to see you are stalking.
and constantly contacting you and talking of the two oif you being together are too.
hes painting an image in his head that if not now, very soon both of you will be together.
and this behaviour really needs to stop.
im am very certain that if he does "change" it wont be for himself.
there are a few more things you could do...every time you talk, make SURE that there is no talk about anything sexual or the two of you being together. if there is, tell him you dont appreciate it, and hang up.
dont feel like you always have to talk to him if hes there.
I also think this is the kind oif guy who just might get agressive if you dont do what he wants. sure hes sweet now but if he feels "betrayed" he could change.
so if he really is bothering you, notify the police...yes!
tell them who he is and just make them aware that this guy might be stalking you, and you dont like it. if there still not convinced, show them some of the txts, emails, ect that hes giiven you.
try and have freinds around when hes near you, that way it will be easier for you to leave than to stay with him.
dont do anything you dont want to do.
I myself am 18 and I wouldnt even date a 23 year old!
and lastly. it all comes down to how you feel about him. work out your feelings, if you think you do like him, just tell him to back off for a while, and let you suss your feelings out.
and if you dont want to be in a relationship with him, you need to tell him that. and you might need to keep telling him that. but make sure it gets in his head. that the two of you can be FREINDS and nothing more.
well, I hope all that has helped!
if you have any more questions, just ask :]

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