What do you do if you feel unwanted?

Your letter is very sad, but the life is not so sad - believe me. Even not YOUR life! I do not know what was the problem with your father that he denied you, but you have to know that the life is an always changing and there is no escape from this changing, even not if you stay all of your life in one town. Now you go to your mother and this gives you a new chance to arrange everything around you in that way how you like it. Try to turn this change into your benefit. And be conscious in this resprect, very conscious. I do not know how old you are, and how old is your b/f who you are in love. But that is sure, there is no boyfriend who could solve your soul problems. Only a healthy soul is able to built up a really good g/f-b/f relationship. If your soul is not strong enough a b/f can use you and hurt you, even if he does not want to to do that. Maybe this is that why your mother thinks that this relationship is early for you. The point is that you should find something intellectual handhold that is good to build up your life aroud it. That can be mathematics, or literature or else, what you have to and be able to deal with seriously. This will give a good guide to your thinking and to the order of your days. Then your grades starts to be better, you relationship with your mother will be better, you soul will be balanced, and at the end your mother will allow you have this b/f, because she will know that you are able to make good decesions in every respect. I think half a year efforts, doing that I propose now, will fructify. The most important thing is that DO NOT LET YOURSELF TO LOOSE. You have to win with conscious forming your life, forming of you intellectual interest and so on. You know ,I also had had serious problems in my life. But when I felt that a new problem is coming, then I always started to sport something, running, swimming, climbig, etc, and these activities always gave me strength to win or at least not loose.