what do I do about my ex boyfriend?

I dated my boyfriend for 31/2 years and we it was like we were married. Then I left on a business trip for a week. After returning for about a month, I found out that he had cheated on me. it broke my heart but the love I had for him was unexplainable and I took him back. It was ok for a while but the trust was just not there and we broke up. It has been about 6 months since then and I can’t get over him. We have hooked up repeatedly but he just won’t commit again. He has been seeing another girl but still sleeping with me occasionally…I know. But I need it too. This may sound really bad but I don’t know what he sees in that other girl. She is not attractive, and I am not just saying that because I am jealous but she is. I did everything for this man, and I can’t let go. I still love him and I miss everything that we had together. IT was the best time of my life. What is he thinking? Is it me? I really need help. It also seems that there is no one else for me, I havn’t been attracted to anyone that I have met or seen. I need closure. Oh he also told me that he doesn’t love me at all. Even after 3 years, I can’t fathom that. He was the one that cheated on me and I still love him to death…WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

Answer #1

Hi all, I feel the same about my relationship… he really wanted to get back with me in the past couple of months and said that I could have all the time I needed to decided what I wanted, he said that he just wanted me to be happy with or without me (we have been split on off for a year) I thought I would try to move on and think of better things, and so I didn’t reciprocate and basically he has ended up giving up hope on us and now I have made him realise that he thinks he can live without me, now I think that I have made the biggest mistake of my life, because I thought maybe there was someone better, but I can’t really imagine loving anyone else, and now he has finally said we need to draw a line, and he seem ready to move on from me… I am so confused about why I wasn’t sure and why I didn’t go with it when he was ready… not I think that I have lost him for good and am really scared, any advice would be appreciated…x

Answer #2

OK….you need to forget about him. MOVE ON! I know you love him and there’s probably something that you just really really like about him. But if hes’ going to go sleep with other girl’s is he really worth it? Try seeing other guys. Go and date other people and see if there’s someone out there who can treat you better then he has. You probably deserve more than he’s giving you.

Answer #3

I am in the exact same situation and a year later, I am still crying my hearts out…

I was with my ex and we lived together for 3 years out of the 3.5 years we were together.. I did everything I could as a gf.. helped him clear his debts..bought him his entire warbrobe, found him a job and shifted out to accompany him…One day, I found out he was checking out his colleague and we fought and he told me he don’t love me anymore and he broke up with me. Less than a month later, I found out he was sleeping with his colleague(Oct 06) and then 3 weeks later, there was another gal (nov 06).. I was so devastated and heartbroken..

I was in so much pain I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t work.. I didn’t keep in contact with him (no calls no sms no nothing and he blocked me on msn after we had a big showdown). 7 months later (May 07), he unblock me and my frens on msn and he told my fren one evening he hasn’t move on.. he tried but he couldn’t (he was not attached then). I love him so much and I forgave him so I unblock him from msn and we chatted…he told me he hasn’t move on, still hv our photos in his wallet, in his laptop etc.. he misses me, misses us.. We went out the next day and that evening, after we parted and he got home, he asked me via msn if I still have feelings for him and I asked him y and he said he wanted to know if there is still a possibility of us..I told him yes… and then he played it cool (never call or sms.. only occasional chat on msn)… 3 weeks later, he said i was the one who mistook he wanted it back, he dun miss me, he dun feel a thing and he dun even think about me.. he is not ready for a relationship.. I felt so angry and so hurt…Before my wound could even heal after he first walk out, he came back and stabbed it harder.. I was so peeved I blocked him in msn and he did too and we are no longer talking..

2 weeks later (Jun 07), someone told me he was seeing a married woman (who is separated from her hubby) .. Just four weeks back (Sep 07), someone told me he broke up with the gal… All these while since May 07, he has never unblock me from msn but just recently, I found out he has unblock me and I see him online (after that i deleted him again and have not added him back ) …

Can anyone help me here.. Why would someone who has blocked you for so many months add you back now.. I am in a dilemma… What should I do?

I miss him so much.. and everyday I am still hoping that God will turn him back someday…I have had breakups before but it was never this bad.. It’s been a year now. I still love him very much.. still crying when I miss him so badly, still in a lot of pain…

Answer #4

HEY. This is what you should do. ignor him. Cut off all communication. Remember guys always want what they cant have. Pretend you are having fun, even if your grieving inside. Its worth it believe me. Remember to aways looks your best when he is around and laugh the loudest, be the merriest! Esp, with his friends, make them laugh, let them have your attention so you can set a great impression. He will soon realise what he is missing in his life and will want you back. But remember! do not be easy on him. You can smile at him (when he looks at you ONLY) but dont do it often!! and you should play hard to get!!! Resist yourself. Even though at times you might think he does not care. THINK AGAIN! He does! Sometimes his ego might get into him and he might try to make you jealous. BUT YOU should not care! YOU hear me? KEEP Having FUN! You are ahead of the game and it is YOU who is making him JEALOUS now, or else he wouldn’t be trying to showof someone else by now. However, You need to show him that you can live without him. You also need to prove your different from other women. (esp, the present girl he’s seeing) Always be honest and have good connections around you . Reputation is key. Finally, when he seems to be dating/ fooling with no one in a while and you sense that he’s constantly staring at you but to scared to come to you. ITS TIME BABES! Its time to grab your chance before he slips away. lol. You now can smile at him often, once in a while talk to him. He might seem all too nice so remember to keep your dignity and distance at the same time. By now, He must realise who hes fooling with. He should realise you could slip in a flick of a fingure if he doesn’t handle you with care because your one of a kind, irresistable and if he presses the wrong button..Your gone. And this time for good! everyone deserves a second chance! And if hes smart he’ll know its not wise not to mess and play with your heart again. Well on that note, I got to go now. I hope reading this will help. Its worked for me. Take care everybody!

Answer #5


I can completely empathize with how you are feeling as I myself have been in a very similar situation. after 3 1/2 years my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend. I had done nothing but be a doting girlfriend and had certainly done nothing to warrant being treated in that way. It is the worst feeling ever.

like you i took him back but over time more little secrets had been revealed about that time he spent with her. the most painful thing was not the physical act that he had done, but his intent and apparent ease at which he could have a relationship with her after 3 1/2 years of a wonderful relationship with me.

i have spent months trying to get him to understand how he has made me feel but only recently after 4months do i believe that he has begun to understand what he did to me. men are naive and he thought once he admitted what he had done we could just carry on as normal. i had to tell him that he should be making it up to me and that he should be correcting what he did wrong.

i am still with him now. but times are hard. it has been a constant effort because i have practically told him everything he should be doing from now on and how i expect to be treated. it feels pointless because its not like he is doing it because he loves me, its like he is doing it because ive told him to. i am in a state of limbo as if i am waiting for him to prove himself to me. he just doesn’t seem to be showing me tho. i feel he never is and am getting sick of waiting.

i have not allowed him to have sex with me since because i feel disgusted and used by him. i want desperately to turn back time but from what i have experienced it is just a thing that you cannot forget if you were hurt as much as me.

It does not seem that you ex partner cares to apologize for what he did to you. men just dont realize. dont crawl back to him now you are free. it will give him an ego boost he does not deserve and he will probably do it again. after all he is cheating on his current partner with you. i am stuck in my relationship because we live together and cannot afford otherwise so are trying to make it work but i am not happy and dont know if i ever will be. Try and find someone else that will make you happy then you can move on an perhaps he will secretly feel a bit of guilt for what he has done. make sure you write the rules.

Answer #6


i broke up with my ex exactly 9 years ago, and ever since the day i ended the relationship, i have not stopped loving him, i ended it not because i did not love him, but because ther were things in him i did not like , and i did not know how to tell him, or if i told him, if he would change, instead i felt i would find perfection in some other, but i realised i could not love any other, after him, i met another guy this 9 yrs,and the more i try to forget my ex, the harder it becomes, my life has felt empty this 9 yrs.

Recently, i had to call him on phone, and told him i still loved him, and that if i married someone else i will not be happy, i tried to bear this feeling over the years, but right now i am happy i told him, its either it works or it does not, but at least he was aware of my love, was this a right move?

i love him and cannot get him out of my mind, i cant stop calling and sending msges to him, recently i had to delete all his contacts and phone numbers so that i cant call or reach him, but still am in a jam, please advise.

he says he is not married neither am i, can things work for us please? advise/way forward, as i feel empty, and i cant think of another guy except my ex ,life seems to make no meaning any more, i cant concentrate, if what do i do please.


Answer #7

im only 19 and was with my ex for almost 4 years we were going hrough a rough patch and someone was paying me attention I didnt cheat but my ex ended it cause he thoughtthere was.anyway I got with he new person who paid me attention, but was always thinking of me ex,I seemed I culdnt go a day wonderin if he stillloved me.so I gt on with my new man, but the other night my ex boyfriend made me look really small infront of my friends so I asked if I could haave chat, we did a two hour chat tlking bout old times and he said he misses me and he asked if I still liked him. to my stubborness and stupidityi I said no but he tried to kiss me and make moves on me I turned him down and insisted I wouldnt cause of my current boyfriend. he compared himself to my new boyfriend saying things like bet he dont pack your suit case when you get sunstroke or wipe your tears when you cry. and its really got to me now my new boyfriend told mehe don’t like the person I am when im out and I said but that how you fancied me and he said yes I fancied you but the person I fell in love with was the person that came out when we was alone. what do I do!we areon a break

Answer #8

I understand all of your pain..My ex-boyfriend and I continued in relationship purgatory for about 4 months now out of our year and a half relationship. A few days ago he told me that he hasn’t been in love with me for months….I dont understand why he would continuously sleep with me, tell me he loves me and take me places all of this time!! Then he calls me the day after we mutually agree to end things and says he didn’t mean what he said!!! Why can’t it just be simple…The hardest thing to me is not knowing….I want to be nice to him and do things for him, but then he is such a creep, it is hard on my self esteem to do anything nice, then I am mad one way or the other!!!! The only good thing about this break up is that at least I know where my energies should be focused:::: TO get over him!!!! It is hard not to call, hard not to get drunk, hard not to just jump into another relationship with someone else, but this time I am trying to do things right!! Clean, garden, spend time with my pets and pamper myself, saying as long as I don’t contact him, I am being successfull!!!

At least without contact we have no more psycho arugements!!! There really are benefits to a break up and I think we should always remember that! Enjoy the peace and absence of mental games!!

Answer #9

I can also relate to all of this. My ex and I have been broken up for over 3 years yet I think about him everyday. Neither one of us ever cheated or strayed from the relationship, but I was just worried that my ex would never commit. Heck it took him 2 years to actually say the words “I love you”. We were both getting older and we had been together for a long time so I felt that if he couldn’t promise me a future I had to find it elsewhere. Problem was, I truly believe that he WAS my future and I walked away too soon. I have dated other guys since then but yet I still find myself thinking about my ex. I have tried to contact him but no response. How do I move on???

Answer #10

You poor girls. I have been in situations like you describe - and I know how hard it is. In fact, I’m presently in love with someone who is playing games with both me and his ex girlfriend. But to be perfectly honest - I think I need to cut all ties with him. I am a nice person and deserve someone to treat me right. He makes me feel insecure and unhappy - so why would I want to be with someone like that!

I sat tonight and prayed to God to help me to get over this. I’ve almost been brought to the point of feeling I can’t go on anymore - but really, is this guy worth it??? The answer is definately NO!! and I’m quite sure you girls would all honestly find the same answer!

Hope you all find answers to your heartache. But remember - if you truely believe in God and ask him for help - he will listen and help you get over it!

God bless


Answer #11

It’s nice to find some type of solace online, even if we are all going through the same thing. I was with my ex boyfriend for 3 years and it also felt like we were married; he brought up the topic early on in our relationship and his best friend even mentioned sometimes that my ex talked to him about buying me a ring. Our relationship ended nearly 11 months ago and I am still hurting, crying, and wanting him back. It is embarrasing, and feels pathetic sometimes but it’s the honest truth. I’m an Aries and he’s a Sagittarius – supposedly the best match..I do feel in my heart that he’s my soulmate. I have not loved any one else like I love this man. He cheated on me too, 2.5 years into our relationship but because I loved him sooo much, I took him back a month later. He promised to be faithful, told me he wanted me, and told me I was the perfect woman for him, that he wanted everything to be great for our marriage. Four months later, he broke up with me because of personal issues in his life (mom almost died, he had to take on the responsibility of running the family business, and his ex-wife (sorry excucse for a woman and mother) decided to become a dead-beat (they already had a decent working schedule to exchange the kids every other week) and he became a full time dad. He told me he felt that he couldn’t give me the time I deserved in the relationship but made some comments to hint he was not happy. With all of the crisis in his life, I just thought he was angry and confused and it made me insecure so I held on tight, trying to prevent my relationship from failing. Since Sagittarius men run when the going gets tough and are really afraid of commitment, I feel like I may have pushed him away. I am not trying to find a way to blame myself, but just to be rationale about it all, I wonder about this. I also found out he had met someone else (probably met her when he asked for space 3 weeks before we broke up), and he is still seeing her. I thought she would be his ‘jump off’ (she’s been in criminal trouble with her ex wh’s in prison, has 3 kids, and can’t keep a job, and ghetto!) but he is really seeing this girl. I thought we were just taking a break, that he just needed some space to get his life together and would come back for me. When we broke up, he was still telling me he loved me. Last October, we talked over text message to say hi and ask about each other’s families. He apologized for hurting me and told me I am a wonderful woman, but he shut down when I told him I missed him. I had a breakdown and texted him the day after his birthday, spilling my feelings but he didn’t reply (I didn’t expect him to). I have tried reaching out to him again recently but still nothing. I don’t have closure and don’t understand how he just walked out on us, our relationship wasn’t perfect but it wasn’t bad either. I have met a few men, one who I slept with 4x but he has moved on and I am just stuck, lonely, and miserable thinking of my ex every day since we split last year. I just wish there was some magic trick… At the end of the day, it is best that we move on and better ourselves, work on things we placed on the back burners for our loves. Tell them the truth but also look hot and flirt, and just pray they return and its better than it was before. That is my hope every day… I had a wack date last week. I just can’t think about anyone other than my ex.

Answer #12

My friends keep telling me to cut all communications with him, remove alll things that reminded of him.

I got out of a 6-year relationship about 5 months ago. I met his parents for the first time 6 months ago, and I guess I wasn’t exactly fond of them. They are nice people, but our personalities just don’t click. They were going to stay with us for two months, and I guess I kind of did things that offended them or they didn’t like it. They decided to move out from our place and rent an apartment for a month, and thats how our relationship ended. He couldn’t be with someone that doesn’t get along with his parents. It’s not that I didn’t want to get along with them, it’s just hard for me to live with someone else. I hate it even when my own parents come to stay with us. We were perfect for each other, neither of us cheated, and we appreciated being together 24/7.

Everything that happened keeps replaying in my head over and over. I regretted acting out in front of his parents, but there is really nothing I can do now.

I moved to another state after the break up. We still text each other (such a bad idea)! I just found out he’s seeing someone else already. I can’t even wrap my head around when it comes to dating again. I don’t know how he can do it.

Girls, we gotta be strong!!! Life goes on, we can’t stop it. I’m desperate and want to go back to my old life with him, but it’s not going to happen. So we all gonna just put our head up and look forward to the future (YES IT SEEMS LIKE IT’S IMPOSSIBLE, BUT WE NEED TO BE OPTIMISTIC!!!)! <3 Best of luck to everyone. We are all on the same boat.

Answer #13

Girls just get over these men!!! That is what I am doing, yeah it hurts like hell but really are they stopping their lives because we are hurting, nope!!! So why stop our lives keep on living, get out and mingle… God has something bigger and better for us all.. And if God has your ex for you then believe me eventually it will be, but for now just MOVE ON, and enjoy life, get over it!!!

Answer #14

You probably should try getting out more. Keeping yourself busy will help you heal. Doing things with family and friends will get your mind off of this negativity. This guy has made a huge mistake. You can’t wait around for him to figure that out. I am sure you are a very attractive, smart, young lady that can do better than this. Move on.

Answer #15

ok today I told my boyfriend I was preggo~~~and he toold me the last 4 years weve been going out he said he was cheatin on me!!!I’ve learned men are genarally stupid!

Answer #16

Oh ladies I’m in the same miserable pathetic scenario as you guys! I broke up with my bf (also ex-fianceé) in Dec of 2004 and instantly regretted it, and tried talking to gim but he blew me off! His not an angel either, we never had any cheating while we were tpgether but about 5 months after we broke up he started dating someone else! to make long story short I haven’t been able to date let alone kiss and forget about sleeping with a guy since we broke up (Dec 2004) I’m officially a re-born virgin! I compare him to every guy I meet, if they don’t dress or talk or like the music he was into they are of no interest to me! I cannot forget him…He’s the love of my life and by the looks of it he will never be mine again.

Answer #17

i feel the same way as you do, my boyfriend and i were on and off for about a year and he told me that he loved me and i of course loved him also. when we would take a break or break up, i still like him and he would always come back and get back together with me. recienty we are back together but he hasnt called me lately. so i talked to my other guy friend and he told me not to call him cause from what my guy friend says if he were my boyfriend he doesnt know how he isnt callin me. in your situation on the cheating thing i cheated on him, it was the worst feeling in the WHOLE WORLD! but all i did was kiss the other boy but still that was horribally wrong but my boyfriend worked it out with me like you did with your boyfriend.

Answer #18

well girls, dang, I sat here and read every one of your stories and while I have gone through similar things, and hell yea it hurts, and it seems that they’re memory haunts you every minute, but honestly, you’re not going to get over it if you really dont put in the honest effort, try going out having fun w friends, because I’ve found that to be the best type of therapy, sure I had a drunk crying session with my friends but that was all lol, but honestly, try and put your self out there, looking pretty and of course that seeing other guys admire you helps your self esteem and who knows, as someone else on here said, you may very well meet someone new… just think of this… YOU ALL REALLY LOVED/LOVE these guys, and would probably never cause them the pain they caused you. when you care for someone the last thing you want to do is harm them… you deserve someone who admires you, respects you and most of all someone WORTHY. this time youve been wasting crying over some jerk or letting your self be his second option , you could have spent with a GREAT guy… I’ve been through rough patches and this is what has worked for me. best of luck to all of you. love does exist, but it has to be mutual, and most of all, it shouldnt hurt…

Answer #19

well girls, dang, I sat here and read every one of your stories and while I have gone through similar things, and hell yea it hurts, and it seems that they’re memory haunts you every minute, but honestly, you’re not going to get over it if you really dont put in the honest effort, try going out having fun w friends, because I’ve found that to be the best type of therapy, sure I had a drunk crying session with my friends but that was all lol, but honestly, try and put your self out there, looking pretty and of course that seeing other guys admire you helps your self esteem and who knows, as someone else on here said, you may very well meet someone new… just think of this… YOU ALL REALLY LOVED/LOVE these guys, and would probably never cause them the pain they caused you. when you care for someone the last thing you want to do is harm them… you deserve someone who admires you, respects you and most of all someone WORTHY. this time youve been wasting crying over some jerk or letting your self be his second option , you could have spent with a GREAT guy… I’ve been through rough patches and this is what has worked for me. best of luck to all of you. love does exist, but it has to be mutual, and most of all, it shouldnt hurt…

Answer #20

I am Major Bowen from California, a return my lover spell was cast for me in December by this temple and I’d like to thank you. My ex and I have been back together for a month now. And it’s been even better than before. I think this time it’s forever. We’ve been talking of moving in together, and maybe getting married in the June. Things between us are great. I thank you for helping to bring him back to me. After our time apart, we’ve learned to appreciate each other more, and not take anything for granted. Priest after trying and failing through other fake spell casters and witch doctors i had lost hope , but i thank God for giving me the ability to find you to solve my problems. I can’t imagine that my business is doing better than i thought and i will always live to praise you, i recommend any of you who is passing through my old situation to contact this great priest on templeofpermanenthealing@gmail.com

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