What can I do to let her know?

Okay, so my girlfriend and I have been together for 2 years 3 months now. I know I’ve talked about her a few times, but now I’m at a fork in the road.

It all started on Wednesday May 12…

My girlfriend’s birthday was May 6, and being the caring person, I told her I would get her something special. I sent her my gift through the mail, and told her to go check it on Tuesday May 11, cause the tracking No. said it was signed. We couldn’t find the gift. I told her to ask her mother, and her mother said “I don’t know of any delivery.” Later, the next day, I told her to go try to find it again, but she told me she would later, since she had to go to school for a meeting at 6p.m. I said “I love you so much.” “I love you too, Sasha. Always.”

That night, at around 10:15p.m., I get a text saying “Sasha…go to bed please, something happened, and please don’t call in the morning, I’ll tell you..” “Okay. Sweet dreams. I love you.” “You too.”

I was curious, so I didn’t sleep, and when I got up to check for any new texts that morning, she had told me how her ma had the gift since its delivery, and read through everything. She told me that she can no longer be with me, and that I will move on soon. I refused to keep reading without feeling pain, and continued to read as I sat in my boxers, tears falling down my cheeks, and the pain of my heart almost stopping.

I tried to shower for school,and almost attempted to stab myself with scissors in the shower, but the pain of her telling me this was too much to do it. I went to school that day…upset, quiet, eyes red from tears, and I didn’t have the guts to even tell my partner in English what had happened.

Later that day, I tried to text her things like “I love you. I don’t want to lose you, believe me, I don’t. I won’t ever stop loving you.” and later(2 hours later), she had texted me saying that “I can’t text you or call…my ma is monitoring my bill. Please forget me, Sasha. Please don’t talk to me again…it’ll make it so much easier to move on if we don’t talk anymore.” I tried to counteract it by saying I loved her and cared so much, but then she said “I can’t! I’m sorry, but I can’t! You’e ripping my family apart, and I can’t leave everything for you! It hurts to see you and my ma cry, it really hurts! Don’t tell me you love me, you can move on, please!!”

You can imagine how much it must have pained my heart…I was the cause of her family hating her…

Thursday and Friday came…only one reply for me “You can call me at 3 a.m. saturday night next week. I won’t have my phone, but I’ll use someone else’s. You can hear me cry all night, but you won’t change my mind.” “…I won’t lose you. We promised to never let anything in our way, and I can feel you still wanting to be with me..please believe me.” Saturday came…I get a text saying “I’m not allowed to keep your gifts, Sasha. I have to give them back, but please, don’t send me my gifts back.” “Steal something from it, please. Just take one thing and keep it close to you.” “I can’t, she’ll find out.” “Alright..I love you, Aisha.” “I can’t text you anymore…my phone is being taken away.” “Write me then…I won’t let us lose each other.”

I find out later that night, no more a social site, MSN, AIM, Phone, nothing… I am so torn up by this. I don’t know what to do, I truly love her, and I won’t give up on her no matter what. Her ma wants her to not be with me, because I am not Muslim, and it’s not arranged. My girlfriend agrees with her…after all that we promised each other and all that we’ve shared…I told her that I’d rather her marry someone she loves and have her ma hate her for a few months, than to see her marry some cruel husband just to see her ma’s reputation increase. I am willing to wait as long as it takes until I am allowed to marry her.

What should I do? I can’t send her anything for fear of her mother reading, I can’t call, for fear of her mother answering it, I can’t even e-mail her, for fear that her mother will demand to see it.

Please help…

Answer #1

This was really sad to read, but I’ll try to give you my best advice. You can do several things. First one: Do what she says, and leave her alone. It’ll be painful, but one day you could be together again. Option two: try and convince her to be secret about your relationship. This however, might cause some trouble. Option three: go to her family and see why they don’t want you two together, but this also, might make things worse. Honestly, I don’t see a simple solution to your problem. It’s not her fault, nor yours. Some families are just like this. Also, don’t think she doesn’t love you, it sound to me like she does. The problem is she doesn’t want her family to hate her. You need to respect that. Hope I helped.

Answer #2

dont u see her at school ?

Answer #3

No….If it was that easy, then I wouldn’t have sent anything to her door.

Answer #4

this made me cried…

Answer #5

Really? I’m sorry. It’s a true story though. Unfortunately, it only made you cry a little. I cried about it for a long time.

Answer #6

this happens,she should have thought before having a relationship,i dont know why but i really think this..if she knew that her family would not allow to marry someone who is not of her religion..i know this is true story and ofcourse you must have felt very very very sad about it..and cried too. even if it muslim or hindu…their parents and specially their grandparents never allow this usually..and the main reason is reputation,what other people will say.. i remember when we were all sitting at dining table and i was like 13,my dad warned all the girls(my sisters) that we can never love any guy and specially someone who is not hindu,or he will shoot himself. some families are really strict about this because of the culture..my one cousin married a punjabi boy…and now my father has no relation with them..i personally dont think that it is wrong. to be very frank…everybody loves their family first before loving anybody,she definitely loves her family and the most important thing was she had a fear of her family not respected by other people around her..thats what i think..i really feel sad..i wish she comes back..but this seems difficult but still you will come out of it ..i am sure..it takes time..:(

Answer #7

Unfortunately, she’s not coming back. Reputation is a lot to her family. I care enough to see her happier with someone she’s allowed to marry. Sometimes I just think our families(mine and yours) care too much about status. I do agree that if she knew, then she shouldn’t have played with my feelings. I will come out of this feeling eventually, but it will be a long time before I will have feelings like that. I’m actually crying right now. Haha….:’( More hindi songs?

Answer #8

dont cry,dont cry,dont cry.you are really a awesome guy..thinking for her in this way.

Answer #9

If only it felt awesome for me too. The last thing she told me on the phone was “You ruined my family! I don’t want you! I don’t want you here! Leave me alone!”. That’s very meaningful of her. I put in all my effort, and for nothing. Your father protected you for a reason and thi sis one of them.

Answer #10

she was blaming you,this shows she never loved you truly like you(sorry,i know this hurts you),but you know ..why to be sad for a girl who now even dont cares? i know its easy for me to say and way difficult for you…you are a great person..

Answer #11

It’s difficult because it was a 2 year thing. I told this person all my secrets, everything really. I really thought she was the one. But that’s the problem. I think too much. I don’t care for her as much as I used to, especially after finding out that this was all a lie. It just hurts. Hurts to know that I was that stupid to fall for lies.

Answer #12

that what makes me sad ,that you cared about her so much ..oh oh..dont worry…life never stops,move on..dude…you are handsome enough that any girl will fall for you ;) haha. :)

Answer #13

You make me laugh, Yashica. :) Girls don’t like me though, remember? I’m too weird to them. I’m a caring person, Yashica. I don’t want to make people upset. I give up my happiness for others. I’m very generous that way. :)

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