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What age should the child be left to cry?

My son is 2 years old and still has some sleepless nights. What age should you just let them cry it out? It hurts me to listen to him scream and rattle the crib it is 5:20 right now and I am not sure if I will be able to sleep tonight, every 5 min I go in there to rock him to sleep.

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Answer #1

The technique of letting babies cry longer and longer before comforing them was popularized by pediatrition Richard Ferber. In fact many refer to this as Ferberizing.

Suffice it to say that I strongly disagree with this. Babies and young children need love and comfort. Save the tough love for when they are older.

Have you considered cosleeping? With my daughter when we did that everyone got a lot more sleep. A friend of ours was at their wit’s end because they weren’t getting any sleep. I suggested they try cosleeping and the very next day I saw a furniture truck drive up to their house. Cosleeping worked out so well for them that they immediately traded in their queen size for a king so the 3 of them would have more room. If you notice humans are the only primate who expect their young to sleep all alone. Other animals sleep with their offspring until their are old enough to be independant. Cosleeping is actually the norm in most of the world, the US is the odd country that thinks kids should sleep by themselves.

Answer #2

I know what you mean. I have a 4, 2, and 1 year old and I can not stand to let any of them cry. They say at about 6 months you can let them start crying it out. However, my 3 kids usually end up in my bed anyway. My poor husband feels so left out..on the couch!

Answer #3

You can’t just walk away and let them cry it out all of a sudden - you have to make that step gradually.

The first night, let him cry for 5 minutes then check on him - don’t rock him, just lie him down and tuck him back in. It’s a long process, but eventually he will tire himself out. Be patient and remember that he’s dealing with separation issues. Getting upset with him will not help.

The next night, increase the wait to 10 minutes. Carry on this way and soon he’ll understand that you’re always there, but you’re not going to come running to him whenever he cries.

A 2 year old is old enough to understand - he should not be rocked to sleep at this age.

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