video porn EVERY day normal??

Why do men want to jerk themselves off to porn video instead of having the real thing anytime they want it? Is this normal?

Answer #1

/\ /\ thats your opinion. /\ /\ and your response made me literally laugh out loud. thank you.

Answer #2

Yes we have been honestly talking @ what is going on between us. I love him enough to let him go if that will make him happy. I had surgery back in October {which prior to this was not into SEX for almost 8 months since it was physically painful}.Since then I am wanting it 2-3 times a day if we could. He explained he can’t keep up & doesn’t want to disappoint me over & over again. We have both done some research online for how to help- positions, why things happen to older guys {he is 48}, etc. We also talked @ him helping me more @ house & with the kids without me b*ing to him @ it first. Things are improving lately & we both have the time now to enjoy simple things we like to do together. We do chores, shopping, dinner, etc together whenever we can & it frees both of us up to have the time to enjoy each other more. This could mean dinner, movie, talking, or SEX. I think we are heopefully going in the right direction! THANKS FOR ALL THE ADVICE!

Answer #3

There is obviously something missing between the two of you. Guys would prefer the real thing, unless something is wrong. I don’t know you, and I can only make a wild guess, but for example if you nag a guy a lot, he is not going to want to come near you. That sort of thing. Something somewhere is broken between you.

But both guys and gals fail to understand that the chemistry needs to be cultivated. It does die down. You (both of you) have to fan the flame. It can feel like the desire is gone, but it is not. he may not know how (or understand) that he can rekindle the flame if he tries.

Answer #4

Absolutely not normal. Sex is a God-given gift between a man and a woman in a loving relationship. When we take these God-given gifts to extremes, we pay the price. We lose our loved ones, our jobs, our morals and out ability to make rational decisions. This in NO reflection on you as a wife whatsoever, the addiction is with him and it is most certainly NOT anything you are doing or not doing. Porn addicts are in a savage state of mind and people who tell them “all men do it” say that to make both themselves and the addict feel ok. It is NOT ok, it destroys lives and diminished women’s self esteems (and men’s as women and men are identical in mind, contrary to popular belief, we are ALL sexual beings, women don’t boast as much though but they do become addicted to porn also). Society is under immense pressure to be like these women and men on television who open their legs for money. God must be really pleased at what he has created - NOT. It’s great adding spice to your sex life where BOTH parties are willing and eager, when this is done in isolation whilst abandoning your partner, that is morally wrong and very very dangerous. Your husband needs help and if he can’t see there’s a problem, I think it’s time for you to move on and be with one of life’s genuine, loving, caring, compassionate non-porn-addicted gentlemen out there who will treat you like the princess that you truely are. Take no nonsense, make a stand and if he chooses porn over you, you have your answer. You deserve to be with a man who love only YOU and puts YOU before EVERYTHING. That is why you both took your vows. He is not fulfilling his. Move on and live your life with love and joy that’s not marred by filth. I wish you all the very best. xx

Answer #5

hell no!!! I’d rather do girl than watch fake porn and besides, I’d give a girl night of her life and put her wants first.

Answer #6

He is definitely addicted to porn!>>

Odds are you or someone you know has looked at porn excessively and inordinate amounts and we are glad you found us. For some, porn is an addiction that costs them everything. Internet pornography use is on the rise at a fast pace: lost jobs, failed marriages, and destroyed families are the outcome. Everybody is vulnerable to this addiction. Whether the motive for consuming pornography is sexual appetite, escape/self-medication, or any other reason, engaging in these addictions causes the brain and body to endogenously produce and release chemical drugs into its own system. These chemicals include: epinephrine (an adrenal gland hormone that “locks-in” memories of experiences occurring at times of high arousal), adrenaline, adrenocorticotropic hormone (ACTH), noradrenaline, norepinephrine and testosterone, among others. This drug is dragging millions of troubled victims along in its destructive wake.

Persistent accessing of porn not only provides the addict with sexual arousal, but offers a way to self-medicate in order to escape the realities of life. A porn addict will suffer withdrawal symptoms when they try-or are compelled-to relinquish their vice for any length of time. The withdrawal symptoms may drive an addict to find porn and often causes him to act out his needs in inappropriate ways.

But there is hope. Please join us on our support message boards and let’s help each other kick this addiction. Everybody who participates in this website is either a Porn Addict (PA) or the Significant Other (SO) of a Porn Addict. If you are struggling with what you think may be porn addiction or if you suspect your partner maybe be addicted to porn, please visit and read our stories and feel free to join in and ask questions. Recovery is possible for everybody.

Answer #7

no thats not normal. its sick. why would someone wanna watch two people they dont know have sex?!

gross…have the real thing

Answer #8

Why would you need to be invited to watch it with him ? When he is watching it, just sit down next to him invited or not. Axnd if ou feel like giving him a BJ during that time, go for it. I really don’t think he’ll turn you away.

Answer #9

I think the thing that bothers me the most is he went to work nights so he could be together with family during part of the day- work out at gym, talk without our kids, etc. Even on days off he would rather spend his time doing this instead of doing anything with the family or else he goes to work to “check on things”. He gets mad when I ask him to get up when it is good for my day job. I think he truly loves me- maybe just doesn’t want to be with me anymore???

Answer #10

maybe he does truely love you and there is something he is getting from that porn he cant get from you…or he is just straight up addicted to porn…being addicted to porn does happen, same as if someone is addicted to gambling, no different.

Answer #11

He is working nights so I have the chance to stay home during the day & have sex with him. He sleeps for a couple hours, gets online, watches 15-20? porn videos then goes back to sleep for awhile. Gets up goes off to work without even a kiss most nights. We have talked @ it- he justs tells me he likes to do himself sometimes. BUT HONESTLY EVERY single day it is same routine. I am NOT invited to watch with him or even give a bj while he watches. I am afraid this may ruin our 16 years together

Answer #12

Sometimes guys just get a bit horny and most guys don’t have a girlfriend and someone to have sex with or mess around with so they just use their trusty ol’ hand. then again I haven’t known any guy that won’t do it with their girlfriend given the chance.

Answer #13

Awh I’m really sorry to hear this- But unfortunately this isn’t going to work if he’s not going to put effort into it, there is no way, a relationship needs to be 50/50. Bring it up again to him again and flat out tell him there needs to be a change, if he still doesn’t listen it shows how much he cares about the relationship.

Answer #14

some people are just addicted,and they are just so into it that watching it adds that extra spark.. maybe try having sex and watching it? add a lil spark?

Answer #15

My past boyfriends and my current boyfriend have only done it when they were alone and didn’t have a choice because I’m not always around. I thought most guys only do it because that’s their only choice, I don’t see why someone wouldn’t just do the real thing if it’s an option. I’d say this is a problem but I may be wrong.

Answer #16

I appreciate the advice- I do occasionally watch the porn with him- but it seems to bother him like I somehow invaded his private moment. Also I really don’t get into the whole girl thing- they always focus on what they think guys want to see- lots of open crotch shots- YUCK!!

When I try to bj him he gets upset because I don’t do it like the girl on video can do. Another thought I think he is concentrating so hard on watching video- he loses concentration on us having sex. It goes dead fast- takes a long time to get him going again. Which is funny in a way because he has told me over & over again how I can give the best bj he has ever had-so why won’t he let me do it?? I REALLY ENJOY GIVING HEAD!!

Answer #17

OK so I took some of your advice & talked openly with him @ how much this bothers me. Suprize he hasn’t seen any porn videos for like 4 days now. I told him I didn’t mind him doing it once in awhile- but not every day- we have spent this past weekend doing everyday things together {grocery shop, etc I usually do by myself due to his job} . It brought us closer & YES SEX was better this time @. Hopefully it will work out. I think he is getting thinking he needs to do himself since he is getting old & can’t perform like he did when he was 18??? I try to reassure him whenever I can. Thanks to all for the advice!

Answer #18

You’re welcome and remember, YOU are number one, not a porn show, don’t tolerate any nonsense from a man, it’s 2009!!! xx

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