Is this vampire knight lemon good?

i wrote it myself! can you please give me pointers? reveiws? comments? please? oh yeah and the content is MATURE so don’t blame me if you click on it and then your mom sees what you are reading and you get in trouble! lol sorry. so…here’s the link http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6092492/1/bSinful_b_bPleasures_b

Answer #1

lol haha your story’s good, in my opinion. You need to go over it a bit because there are a few mistakes though but they’re really small ones. (like, you write ‘let out enormous moan’ which doesn’t make sense) btw, if you’re a yaoi or shounen-ai type for anime, then you should watch junjo romantica. its rlly good but it hasn’t got too many episodes…24 only I think.

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