What if the guy i'm in love with hates me?

I love this guy but the guy I'm in love with hates me and can't stand me. I have tried so many things to get over him but nothing ever works. I have tried new crushes and now I have a new boyfriend but I am still in love with someone else. What should I do to make the one I'm in love with love me or just like me as a friend?

22 answers

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ANSWER #1 of 22

I think I have been in a similar situation. I am a 39 yr old male. when I was 22 i felt the same for my gf who was an year older. I think one tends to have a compulsive obsession for someone. It is difficult to accept someone hate you. The best thing to do is to stay away from this person who hates you. Time is the best healer


ANSWER #2 of 22

You cant possibly love someone who hates you. It takes two to love! You need to forget about that guy, and concentrate on the new guy!

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ANSWER #3 of 22

are you saying that this guy seriously hates you and in the same sentence you cry for your love for him?.WHAT has he done to deserve your love?Add to the mix that you now have a boyfriend that lovesYOU but you seem to feel like you are settling for him. If I were you ,I would step away from both of them Spend some time on your own,so that YOU can decide who and what you really want.

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ANSWER #4 of 22

I have been in the same situation for too long. I don't think this crush will ever heal because it was my first crush and well... I still think about him all the time even tho I love my boyfriend to.
I use to do everything to get this guy to like me and all it did was drive him away...
so if it is ever ment to be it will just happen don't make it happen...
try to avoid him =(

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ANSWER #5 of 22

I know how you feel my kids and I got divorce and now we are back together but he acts like he really hates me he will lie to me and keep things from me what should I do?

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ANSWER #6 of 22

I know how you feel my kids dad and I got divorce and now we are back together but sometimes I also feel that he hates me cause he will lie to me he will not talk to me and he will keep things from me so I know what you mean and how you feel?

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ANSWER #7 of 22

well all i can tell you is to let him know you like him and if dont like you back the he is not worth it

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ANSWER #8 of 22

I have the same situation. I've been in love with one person for five years and he doesn't care. He's way out of my league and I don't see him anymore because he goes to a different school, but that doesn't stop me from feeling. Eventually, he got annoyed at me, he was a nice guy, but people can only take so much obsession. When someone DOESN'T LIKE YOU, you can't force them to, they have to do it themselves or else you wouldn't want that kind of love. Give him space and don't forget to breathe. For me it's really hard to think about anything besides love. So far, I don't talk to him at all, and he's living his life, and so am I. Except he never thinks about me, and he's on my mind 24/7. I'll probably never see him again, but he holds a permanent spot in my heart.

The best thing to do is just to avoid him as much as possible until he feel's the same way, or maybe let it cool off for a while then go up to him and just talk to him, tell him what's on your mind. Don't be too "out there" though, it might freak him out. If he doesn't like you because you like him, like my guy, don't keep pressing on, apparently time heals all wounds and whatever happens, happens. Just let the pieces fall where they may

If you have a boyfriend and you know for sure you don't like him, don't be afraid to break up with him, because it's not fair to either one of you to keep it going on if the love isn't returned. The whole reason people get together is because they both love each other. Maybe it'll make your situation better, maybe if you're lucky he was holding back because you had a boyfriend. Don't forget to think each step through.

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ANSWER #9 of 22

I'm in "love" with a man that hates me with his actions. He treats me horribly and criticizes me basically every chance he gets. I have blocked him on my phone for harassment and do not see him anymore but my feelings for him are just as strong as ever. He oscillates between calling it "true love" and abuse. I don't know why but I feel like we are soul mates - just really bad at it.

My answer: I really think that once you allow people to cross your boundaries and lose self-respect then your standards suffer. It is hard to see clearly and understand what is right for you after accepting what is wrong for you

My suggestion: Ignore him, don't think about it and move on with your life. If there such a thing as true love and destiny in this carnal world then maybe in the future, years from now, he will come around. I wouldn't count on it though or hold your breath. This life is way too short. There is no need to awaken or rush love - this is natural. You cannot change him or make him like you. What you can do start to respect yourself and make boundaries for your heart. If you settle for "hate" then that is what you will get. Wait for the guy to start loving you before you give your heart away. I know it's hard but there is no other way.

143=I love you 225=?
ANSWER #10 of 22

im went through the same thing, except im MUCH younger. im 15. now the guy LOVES me to death! heres what I did: I didnt have the nerve to talk to him so I put a note in his locker which sed: why do you hate me so much? and the next day he comes up to me and says: I love you. so im like AHHH AWESOME! and now we've been dating for a long time.but most guys are different, you shud just ask him WHY DO you HATE ME in SOME way and see what he says from there :D

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ANSWER #11 of 22

Im going thru the same thing my baby daddy treats me like crap and he cheated on me everything he does I always takes him back but now he just met a ninteen year old girl and he is 28 and he has only known her for 2 months and he says he is in love we have been together for eight years and we have a child together and some strange reason I still love him very much I know I need to get over this guy but he is my first and that just seems so hard. just acceptance is the key I need to accept the way he feels and just leave him alone so should you but believe me I know its hard because its hard for me.

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ANSWER #12 of 22

I'm in the same situaiton. for three years now, I've been in love with a jock, player type, and not even knowing why I like him. I'm into anime and manga, I'm so different for him I wonder if he even thinks of me at all. Bad part is, I used to hate him too. We were always messing with eachother, he actually wrote "I hate you - love Billy" in my yearbook...lol that was both funny and it hurt. So for someone going through this too, I'll tell you this. Try and talk to him. You never know, he may not hate you, he may just act like it. Just do what I know I don't have the nerve to do. who knows, even if your hurt you'll be able to move on, because no matter how big the scar, there will always be something to patch it up. Be it friends or a new Boyfriend, but you'll be alright, you just don't want to keep wondering if he really hates you all your life...


ANSWER #13 of 22

oh I have the same problem I love him, if he screams in my face "I hate you" my heart would smile and scream back "I love you" and I have a boyfriend that I really care about too


ANSWER #14 of 22

Regain your self-respect. You can love him still but set him free.


ANSWER #15 of 22

im in da same thing as you im in love with dis guy who thinks im anoyin' so it chrushed me I felt like I was gona die but I didnt just let him be 4 a while if you guys use 2 talk he will feel weird when he hasnt talked 2 YOU in so long so just lay back focous on your boy now and just go back 2 da other lata cause if you truly love him ture love can wait through anythin I wish you da best


ANSWER #16 of 22

I am in the same situation too. And the best thing to do is to let him go for a while. Don't talk to him for a year or too, but keep him in your mind. After those 2 years try talking to him, say hi, be nice to him. And the older he gets the better he will understand and will become more mature. So if you really love him, don't give up. This person might love you too, he just thinks other things might be important, or maybe he isn't ready for a relationship yet. Either way respect his decision, and try to be nice yo him.


ANSWER #17 of 22

I am tottaly in love with somebody but he hates. I've tried lots of things to make him stop hating me but nothing worked. I just hope that someday he'll love me so much that I will forget about everything.


ANSWER #18 of 22

I am in love with somebody but he hates. I've done lots of things to make him stop hating me but nothing worked. Now, I just hope that one day he will love me so much that I will forget about everything.


ANSWER #19 of 22

I have the same problem...I cant give much advice...but maby you should build the nerve (like im trying to do) and just ask him "why do you hate me so much". this will get him thinking about how he really feels about you. then if he has an answer, listen, and go from there.


ANSWER #20 of 22

Same here. I dated this guy for about a week and decided that he was a really rude person. I broke up with him hoping that it wasn't too late for me and him to be just friends. He took the break up really hard and completely ignored me. He wouldn't even look at me. We had the same friends, but when ever I would be with them, he would stay away. I found ways to communicate with him. over a social site, through friends, we would always say really rude things to each other. It became sort of a game. Although he actually did hate me, I thought this was fun. Through this strange relationship I grew to love him...I started obsessing over him. Now, I really do care a lot that he hates me. I wish he didn't.

Best thing to do, is to put him in the back of your mind, in a couple years meet back up with him. Most boys mature a lot over time.


ANSWER #21 of 22

I am going through the exact same thing. I have come to realize though that you cannot make someone feel the same about you. Also I also came to realize that maybe I only think I want this person only because I think I cannot have them, but in reality it is them who is screwing up. You know that you are an awesome person and that if he doesn't wanna get to know that side of you then its his loss anyway. Guys are so worried about themselves now, but oneday he is gonna wish he had taken that chance to get to know you and it will be too late. By then he will be a distant memory that you never even think about and you will laugh at yourself for even liking him. But for now no matter how much it hurts do no text, call, drive by his house, anything... Eventually you will run into him, its scientifically proven that at some point you will see him again, so in the meantime work on the person you want to be for yourself and show him when the oppurtunity comes exactly what he missed out on. Good luck


ANSWER #22 of 22

it happened to me last year but guess what....now he like me and i can't stand him....lol

i really liked him and tried and tried but he hated me so much that he start making fun of me....we were kinda friends at first but when i start liking him he like got all cool and though he was the king of Mr.Handsome (i don't know whats that mean)....even though he kinda changed i still liked him...after so much i decided to ignore him and act as if i am over him( the truth i was not) so he start to to wonder what happened to the girl who would show up all the time and do whatever he said. actually i was acting at first but i did really got over him. i forgot him and i treated him like every one else...now i get massages and crazy pics of i miss u and sorry for what i have done...it's kinda sad but ....i text him once and all i said was "it's to late baby...u missed the train"...lol i had no idea it will turn out like this

i know this is a very late comment but it might just help and i just wanted to share my story...lol ^_^


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