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I have been with my boyfriend for 2.5 years and we are in our late 20’s. He was in a car accident 1.5yrs ago and since then our life has changed. His lower back has had so many problems he will not be able to work for a while. He has lost motivation to do anything, and our romantic life has spiraled down. Lingerie, date nights, etc do nouthing for him. I am beginning to feel as if this willnever get better! I love him and we plan on building a life together, but I don’t know how much more I can take. He watches porn online but he wont do anything with me… I feel so unsexy and feel as if this willnever get better. Any advice?

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Answer #1

Wow- that’s rough. Is it possible HE is not feeling good about himself, maybe feeing so down he doesnt feel good enough? A man that does not have a job does not feel like a man. Its like a job is a penis to them- unless they are a total loser. In this case, he cant work so not only does he not feel like a man ‘a provider’ , he feels like he has no control over things. He is lucky you are trying and making that effort. How about telling him that you care about him, love him, want to be with him - tell him how wonderful you think he is. Tell him you dont like that he has to go through what he is going through but want to be there for him. Then give him some time. He is not being open about his feelings which is not fair to someone who loves him (you). I cant imagine how hurtful it is to see him watch porn, and not be with you. It is only visual stimulation, but he is avoiding the real issue- whatever it is. Hopefully, he will come around.

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