How to trust after a betrayal?

I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years, and we have known each other for 5 years. I am so lost right now. When him and I started to date he had just went through a break up. He wasn’t over her yet, and I didn’t care. I didn’t want to be friends with him. (We dated shortly, about 4 years prior) We dated and fell for each other so fast! We were living together and after about 7 months we moved across the country together.

But so did his ex! She would NOT let him go. She kept contacting him and making our relationship weak. Finally he caved and was curious so he started to talk to her. Then he started visiting her. And then after many problems, she apparently got kicked out of where she was living, so what does he do…MOVES HER INTO OUR HOUSE! I couldn’t take it anymore. I fell apart! I got a plane ticket, sold my car and moved back home to my parents. It was only a month and her and him drove back down here and she went back to her parents and he somehow convinced me to go back. I never should have b/c our problems were not fixed, and she had left things ALL over the house for me to find. I fell apart so badly. I came home after being out there a month. I came home December 2006. It took me until July 2007 to be completely over that pain. He has changed his life so much that I barely know him anymore. He hasn’t talked to her in 9 months or so. A lot has happened and I am so in love with him. It is the greatest feeling in the world to see someone do everything they can to show you how much they love you. By why isn’t that enough? Why am I in so much pain? Why can’t I see his changes and get past it all. I forgave him, but I don’t know how to move on. I am finally asking for help. But who can help me?!

Answer #1

you can always forgive but never forget. Out of all my years I’ve never heard of that one. I personally don’t believe people change. Anyone can put on an act for a year and then go back to normal. but once he lost you he probably realised what a mistake it was, most people take things for granted until their gone. But what katy said is dead on right. Trust can be crazy, if anyone breaks my trust there is no going back, I won’t trust em ever again.. You could be the same way except your trying to get by it.. and your mind won’t let go of what happened. it just won’t be the same for a while, let the trust build back up over the next couple months

Answer #2

if you honestly are in love with him and things changed and he kinda fixed himself just try to put it behind you no matter what. if you let yourself linger in the past then you are ganna skrew up your future. just dont think about it as much and just try to make the best of what you have right now. everyone makes mistakes…even if they seem completely ridiculous we are all still human. I’m not saying what he did was right…cause I really dont think it is. but if your really in love with him let it be. just make sure the same mistakes dont repeat.

Answer #3

You said you are still so in love with him and you said that he has changed. It could be possibly that you are in love with the old him and that’s why it is still hurting you so much. I would not continue the relationship at the moment. you might need time to get to know him again and to get over all this emotional pain. it’s hard to get over because trust has been broken and that is the hardest thing to get back into a relationship. if you continue the in the relationship it might end up hurting you more in the long run if you don’t really trust or know him anymore.

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