How to deal with being torn between two men?

well here is my situation I have been married for almost 5 years to a decent man. I love him but I’m not in love with him. We got married bacause I was pregnant and 2 months later I lost the baby. I now have 2 children 1 from a previous relationship and 1 with my husband. we have been 2gether 4 almost 9 years and we have lost a lot of the fire, we don’t do anything together but have sex. He doesn’t like to go anywhere with me, he doesn’t participate with the children in anyway such as b-day parties, ballgames, nothing. he makes me feel that I am in this alone. I used to be very in love with him but he has pushed me away.

on the other hand my oldest daughter’s father I am in love with he is my soul mate. I have always been in love with him but we were young and ended up not being together. We spoke recently and he still cares about me also since we have been apart he has had another child and so have I. he’s not married but I’m just afraid to go back. I have spoken to my husband on several occassions about the things that are wrong in our relationship he says he will do better but he never does. its still the same. he won’t even keep the maintenence up on the vehicles, not even the 1 he drives. I really want my marriage to work since we did make the decision to get married. What should I do