Suicides prayer, did you like it?

This is a poem I wrote, tell me if you like it

In the dark
Alone I stand
Crying silently
Knife in hand
I think of the day
It was bright outside
So I went to play
I was in the woods using my imagination
Looked over and stared in fascination
He stared back and I started to cry
As I saw he held a bloody knife
I ran away and he ran too
Chased me in this very room
There wasn’t much that he could do
But I still cried and so would you
For he was among the dead
and wasn’t just in my head
Because for now and always I could see
Things you think could never be
And every night he came back
To chase me in this very shack
Where his brothers and friends lay dead
They brought from me a crimson red
To no one I could tell of him
For he would think it as a sin
And worse nightmares will begin
Playing them over and over again
Now I stand in the black
Feeling his presence behind my back
Frightened but still I stand
He ripped the knife from my hand
And replaced it with his own
The blood glinted off and the truth was shown
He drove me to do this
To drive me insane
I looked up at him and he smiled in vain
Then at the knife
I prayed to god
“Now I lay me down to sleep
Before it’s done I shall not weep
For now I will never wake
I pray to you my soul to take
Now I shall be put to rest”
And shoved the knife right through my chest

3 answers

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ANSWER #1 of 3

mmm
Absolutely,
Totally,
Completely,
Amazingly,

EXCELENT!
Everyone look, Please take a bow, for there is a beautiful poet in the house!
Wonderfully done!
Dont change a thing.
I could feel the spirit chasing and edging me too!
I have to say that was excelent!

Thmas Mind


ANSWER #2 of 3

I liked it too

What do I need to fix in my poetry?

ANSWER #3 of 3

I love it

what do you think of my poem?

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