a little while ago I was like really depressed everything was going wrong it just seeemed like nothing would ever get better
especially when I moved from one school to another it seemed like all the teachers hated me and the kids were so mean to me its like that all of the time
any ways I would write about killing myself all of the timei even tole some of my famil members I wanted to kill myself because I wanted attention and I wanted help but I didnt know how to ask for it I had actually been feeling like killng myself since I was 5 yr.old thats when my lil brother was born.I think I was depressed but in a way I wasnt because I had goals but like a year ago I would cut myself,sometimes I would try to kill myself with a knife, or sometimes I would try to starve myself, but nothing worked so I just stopped for a while I thought I would never get better I would never talk to anybody like friends or family I felt like there was no point in living , then I started to just turn to god then things got bad again so I started to get sad again and I really dont know why just earlier this year I gave it 3 chances like if there were three times that I wanted to kill myself I wouldnt but on the 4th time I got super mad and sad then I would go and do what I was going to do that I knew would probably kill me
At the time my family was in the house they were reall makeing me sad and so I went to my room just to cook off and then I remembered it was the 4th time so I went into the kitchen I drank 1/2 a bottle of perscription coug syrup for me and I took 7 motrin before I went to bed and I ate 4 vitamin C pills I told myself that if I wasnt dead by the morning I would take four more vitamins and I would take 7 more motrins well I did
I did all of this because I thought that if I was to get hurt they would pay more attention to me well it didnt work ...oh yea my mom had me when she was young and here mom had her when she was young and so now they are like always sayin stuff like you cant have a boyfriend (not that I wanted one because I never said I wanted one) and they always get all up in my face im talkin on the \phone even when im right by them as im talking...it just seems like they dont appreciate that im a good kid and they dont notice and its like they want me to be a bad kid. mom is getting me some couceling because she thinks I have a bad personality when its really her fault in the first place when my lil bro was born she didnt really pay any attention me...and im not the type of person that will try to go and look for some attention by a boy. I pretty much dont like anybody really except my bestfriend
and I don tlike people not ony because of my family but because they also sould try to make me tougher by joking around I was like in the 4th and 5th grade when they were doing this.
So anyways should I tell my mom about all of this
AND I WANT SOME COUNCELING WHERE CAN I GET IT
TELL YOUR MOTHER RIGHT AWAY!!! LIKE NOW! AND IF YOU HAVE TO GO SEE A GUIDENCE COUNSELOR AT YOUR SCHOOL AND SEEK HELP, BUT PLEASE DO NOT CONTINUE HURTING YOURSELF YOU HAVE BETTER DAYS AHEAD OF YOU I USED TO FEEL THE SAME WAY TRUST ME!
Yes you should tell your mother, and you can get counseling anywhere, just open up a phone book, they have a ton of psychotherapists... Does your school have counselors? If there's a problem with paying, there are counselors that will do it on a sliding fee... I need more info...