stress?

hi everyone, Im 21yr old female, I have a lot on my plate right now. My grandma almost passed away in the hospital 2 weeks ago, thankfully she recovered an is at home now, I spent everyday almost all day with her there, and I dident mind..now thats shes home my grandparents want me to come over everyday which I also dont mind helping out, but it gets stressfull..my grandfathers an alcholic…and sometimes its to much to handle, but I cant just leave becasue I wont do that to my grandma..also my sister has kids and lives with them, but I feel so bad for them because a lot of the time she doesnt have what it takes to raise a family..her boyfriend is no good for nothing hes a lazy as*…and I feel so bad for the kids, I try my hardest to help everyone that needs it, even when im not asked, and I get nothing in return, to thank you no appreciation no nothing. and im not the type of person to let someone down either..altogether I need a quick fix to stress..and guilt at that..when I dont help someone if I know I can even in a small way I feel terrible..what can I do. I know stress is not good for my health, but its like it chained to my ankle like a ball and chain..what can I dooo? sorry this is so long..I need to let it out somewhere, I cant talk to anyone about it, because welli just cant its hard for me…thanks

Become an Expert →

Answer #1

What he said… There’s one very important thing I’ve been trying to learn with a little success… It is ok to say no sometimes… It really is… Practice it… You deserve a life, you deserve to be happy, you deserve not to have to take care of everything all the time. Take a long bath, for an hour. Do it guilt free. Turn off your phone for a few hours. Go to the movies. Go for a walk. Call up a friend and have a night out. It is ok to do things for yourself. What makes you so undeserving? What makes you so worthless that you arent allowed to take care of yourself? You’re not being selfish. You’re taking care of yourself. And there’s nothing wrong with that… And yeah, sometimes we like to feel like we’re needed, like we’re indespensible. And the world would stop spinning without us. It’s not nice to know that the world doesnt stop moving when we’re not around. But it is a reality that we need to accept. Your sister had those kids. They are her responsibilty. Of course she has what it takes to take care of them. Everyone has what it takes to take care of a kid. She simply chooses not to. And it is not your responsibility to take over that. If your grandfather is an alcoholic and you cant deal with him at a particular moment. Leave. Your sister is there… you’re not leaving your grandmother alone…

The short version is go do something for yourself. Set aside a little time every day for yourself. And stick to it. No matter what. And if anyone dares to say something, think about it this way, “is someone who is unappreciative and selfish a better judge of character than I am”? I assume you know yourself pretty well… You know you’re not a selfish person. Because a selfish person wouldnt do all these things. So go take a break, guilt free. And if the guilt comes, just work through it. It will get easier to do stuff for yourself as time goes on…

Answer #2

ok .. yes as they say you have a lot on your plate .. I heard that a lot. but it is a blessing to your family that you care and are willing to help out, just do not let the stress get to you.

Take time out for yourself! this is very very important .. take time to do somethink you enjoy .. or spend time with a trusted frien d that you can unwind with .. go see a movie .. but do not keep it all to yourself.

I bottle up at the stress and it came back to me as health problems … head it off before it becomes a problem … take time to relax and have fun .. enjoy life too.

and what ever you do … do not look at the problems alone try to see the positive side of it all, yesy it is a lot onyour plate .. but you being there is helping family out, and they will appreciate it deep down .. even if they might not show it.

God Bless you in this and hang in there

Answer #3

Thank you everyone for you reply, it gave me a lot to think about, and good ideas how to cope with things a bit better!!! :)

Answer #4

hey, I think it’s great what you are doing because I was in the same boat myself a few years back. well this may come as a shock but you need to do less!!! if helping them is stressing you out distance yourself from them! people will always have problems, it’s too much for you to deal with. you have your own problems so taking on everyone else’s is gonna run you down! by all means give them some help now and again but dont forget to live your own life! they are all grown ups and have survived this long without you. when I moved away from my family I did not think they would cope, they did still have there problems but they coped just fine without me. you could tell your family some home truth’s like telling your sister to get rid of her boyfriend as it seems she’d be better off without him, or telling your grandad to lay off the bottle when your there. hope everything works out for the best!

stress?

Träning och stress

sbarya.com

AnxietyCare Online

The Mind Treat

breocare.com