How do I stop my insecurities from getting in the way with my relationships; friends, boyfriend and family?

the best thing to do would be to overcome them. talk to people about them and work towards ways you can stop being insecure or at least be a bit less insecure.

well i have talked about them, like most of my insecurities are with the way i look, if i could i would change every detail about myself.. and i just get randomly sad because of it and it effects the people around me and i wish it would stop but i cant help it :/

You are still young but over time, the fears and insecurities you have today will be gone. In fact, 5 years, you will laugh at the things that made you insecure and about a lot of the things that are important to you. It is all part of the growing up process. Enjoy it.

No offense hun, I wish I could agree with you, but unfortunately I cant. It really all depends on what that person has been through not the age of the person. One can be 15 or 30+…an insecurity occurs when things in one’s life brings them to that point. For some it’s easier then others. When people go through traumatic things growing up as a child they tend to be insecure all through life or unless they confront that insecurity…until that happens, merely the thought of being in a crowded room will make their blood boil…trying to communicate will be the biggest phobia…and the fear of being rejected or worse laughed at, that can paralyze someone with insecurity issues. I know this because I know people like that, especially working with them in workshops for self improvements. I have seem woman past 40+ so insecure, so afraid to open up they have to literally broken down to tears to finally open up just a tiny little door to talking. The whole process of watching her not even being able to stand up for herself to say look I want to work on myself today was like over 40-50 mins of an argument…while she was twisting the equation til the instructor merely said look stop mind f*cking me…are you here to get help & make changes or are you here to waste our time…then she finally broke down… so you see…insecurities, come at any given age…that is why I cant agree about the whole, “your young routine, it will pass in 5 years & you will laugh about it!” That might be the case, or might not…have to find out what caused the insecurity in the first place to say that. It’s not always an enjoyable process either…sometimes it is nerve wrecking & actually getting in touch with hurtful memories..:(

just because im young doesnt mean it doesnt affect me in alot of negative ways and make me miserable now. i’d rather fix it and be happy then wait 5 years and HOPE i’ll laugh. like temptress said it doesnt always go away, theyre not easy for me to get rid of at all :/

i am with you…u do what u need to do girl…i highly suggest a workshop in a group for ur age…it will do wonders…rather then a one on one session which feels like ur being talked down to.

wish you all the luck hun.

thank you so much! :)

I had a similar problem when i first started dating my husband. He dealt with my insecurities for months before he said something to me about it. I wasn’t aware how much it really bothered him. Then i realized that i was only pushing him away. I decided to stop playing the victim of my past, and look forward to a better future. It is hard to do but once you put your mind to it, you can do anything.

have you found others with the same insecurities and asked them how they coped with it??? iIt may not work for you but atleast its a start.

no one i know has them as bad as me

np, hope all works out for ya

I think that one thing you can do, first of all, is to try and keep yourself around positive people as much as you can. For me and many others I know, it seems to have a positive effect on one’s self. Get a peice of paper and write down some of your positive aspects. You can even ask others what they think some of your positive aspects are. Write a note that says I am a good person or I really like who I am. Tape it to the bathroom mirror and you will see this in the morning when u wake up and brush your teeth. Say it aloud over and over each morning. If you hear friends or a crowd talking negatively, walk the other way. I think doing some of these things will start having an effect on the way you feel about yourself. Personally, Kayla, you look like a beautiful person and hope you will soon loose those insecurities!!

thank you! (:

Ok well this is obviously going to be different for me cause im a guy, but i definitely have insecurities which is why i am the way i am. Some of them are gonna be what makes you as a person, but when you start letting the influence you in a negative way like your doing, that’’s when you need to do something about it. So first of all, pin point or what you hate about yourself (sounds bad but just bare with me) maybe write them down. Then actually think about them, some you’ll find that your just thinking about it to much, being sad about stuff that you either can’t change or shouldnt have to. 2nd stick on a happy tune and randomly dance around your room when no ones looking. And if non of these have worked, then just try and switch to thinking about your positives… As a human its easier to find your flaws, your an amazing person when you can look past your own ; )

And i’ll end with the cheese (Y) Soz for the essay hope it helps x btw u look fine :L

its alrighy and thanks for the advice! :) and thannks lol:)

It must hurt very bad to feel that way. I don’t know much of anything else to tell you but to listen and honestly believe that when your friends, family, or significant other tell you good things, they mean it.

always think positive ! about everything

thats not an easy thing to do….