How do you keep from spoiling your kids?

I’m not a parent, but I like to consider myself pretty unspoiled. My mom would have no days and yes days. Most days were no days, so if we asked for something, like candy or a toy or something like that she would say, “Sorry, but it’s a no day today.” And that was something I could understand as a little kid. Plus, my mom would have me put my own toys away, and help with little chores like washing the table or drying the dishes. Little stuff like that is a good way to start out. But all this depends on how young your kids are, but judging from your picture your kiddos are still pretty little.

I tried that this year, but I went 50% over my limit per kid, I am a sucker for when they as me for stuff.

There is nothing wrong with spoiling your kids, since it is one of the way to show our love to them. As long as it is along with educating them with moral values, the importance of sharing and giving, being disciplined and responsibility, spoiling is acceptable. I sometimes take my kids to my work place (when I am not too busy) tell them that this is what I have to do to earn money. From there, luckily, my kids never want to buy anything which they know it is beyond their parents’ reach. And if they really want to have it, I tell them to save their money. Only once in a time I take them to toy stores and they can pick anything they want, But first I will tell them that is because they have been good at school and I get extra bonus from office. So this will not happen at anytime they want.

Well I have to say I am very strict on their diet, but I give them most anything I can. I went in their rooms and found they have a lot of stuff in their, I don’t remember my parents doing this for me.

Well I think I need to make them work more, but it is hard since I work so often, maybe the reason I buy them so much crap is because I don’t spend as much time as I should with them.

You don’t have to stop giving things to them, you could simply make them work for it. For example of your kid asks for a certain toy in the store you make him/her a deal. You can tell him/her: “ if you pick up your toys for a week after you are done playing with them, we will come here next week and buy it” This way your giving it to them because you love him/her but at the same time the kid is learning to be responsible as well as knowing that things are not for free and getting what she/he wants.

I just said candy as an example. What do you mean you don’t remember your parents doing that for you?

He does not remember if his parents had been giving him toys as many as he id doing now to his kids.

I agree with what you said as long as people read more than the first line only

You can not replace your present with toys, dear Chris. Make them understand your absence, and maximize your presence. It is the quality and not the quantity. I have seen parents who are staying at home almost all day long but be busy with themselves, like reading, watching TV, playing games, without involving their children :) h\However, I believe you are a great dad.

Take your kids to a children’s center and have them help out. Make them see that things aren’t as fortunate for others.

Maybe they’ll understand better.

Exactly why would this be wrong? I got whatever I wanted when I wanted it. I was incredibly spoiled. And so what? I dont take things for granted, I share, and I expect to earn my own way. I had perfect grades in school, and everyone I’ve ever worked with for has put ‘goes above and beyond’ in my recommendation letters. My parents have offered to get me the car I want, and I refused, I want to earn it. It is actually possible to raise responsible kids even if they never work for anything. It is ridiculous to assume kids cant appreciate stuff if they dont work for it.

For me it’s a little bit more difficult . I have shared custody and my kids are with me alternate weekends and half of the school vacation etc, but I find it really hard to instill discipline and values in them knowing that when they go back to their dad’s, all might be forgotten and then it’s the same cycle when they return to my home. They are 10 and 6 years old, and their father literally tells them not to do what I say. How do you instill values, morals and discipline in a situation like that?

Ask yourself if you want them grow up spoiled. Or do you want them to understand the value of work/reward? We all want the best our kids. We want them to have the things that we never had. But what we had or didn’t have and the struggles we went through taught us lessons and made us who we are today. I think there has to be balance in everything we do.