Song I write

I just wrote a song and I just wanted to know if it was good or doe it need work… Thanks

Torn

[intro] Im spilling my heart out for you, And it feels like its torn. I would not know what to do, If you were not born.

[v1] I cant stand this pain im feeling, Cause my heart has gone for you. My heart will never be heeling, Its been torn into two.

[chorus] I gave my heart to you my true love, Cause you fly over me like a dove. You have torn my heart in two, Now I am feeling so deeply blue.

[v2] I have falling for you over again, But you will never love me like that. I hope youll see I love you more like a sin, But right now I am dying were I sat.

[chorus] I gave my heart to you my true love, Cause you fly over me like a dove. You have torn my heart in two, Now I am feeling so deeply blue.

[bridge] You always deserve the best, And that should be me. But you love him more I guess, So thats the way it will be.

[v3] Without you I feel lonely, And you dont really care. Im just thinking about you and me, But you love him and give me a stare.

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Answer #1

I thought it was gooD! nice job. you r gonna wanna put a beat 2 I tand everything…

Answer #2

well the songs about a guy spilling his heart out to the girl he loves but she loves him as a friend and loves someone else too

Answer #3

wonder who its for hehe jkjk :)

I LOVE it a lot hehe good improvements lol

love it lots!!! haha

Answer #4

thanks im trying to make this sound like Bullet For My Valentine

oh my friend and I fixed the V2 its now

[v2] I have falling for you over again, But you will never love me like that. I’m feeling sadder than I’ve ever been, all I want is for you to be back.

Answer #5

Love it! haha well, I love everything but that doesnt matter. haha Still I love it and it really good. Youre kinda better than me but then again, mabie im better than you. haha jkjk Still, again, love it. :)

Answer #6

that is amazing :D

Answer #7

Some spelling errors, but other than that, it’s good. Sort of reminds me of ‘Until The Day I Die’- Story Of The Year. Which, is an amazing song if you haven’t ever heard it…

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