Should I try and get pregnant?

To anyone willing to help with some advice… I am currently enrolled as a sophomore in college. I am 19 years old, and have been with my boyfriend for 14 months now. But something just isn’t right for me. I used to be so motivated… so wanting a career… but now for some reason I just don’t seem to want that anymore. I have been depressed for awhile, and it has only gotten worse since I’ve been here. I just dont think school is for me. Not that I am lazy– I made Dean’s list last semester– I just can’t do it anymore. I want a baby really badly. Every time I think about it (including now) I cry and ache with longing to hold my own baby in my arms. It could be because I’m pregnant now. I dont know is this normal? I feel so torn… the rational side of my knows that I’m not ready financially, that I need to finish school, and what people might think… but at the same time I wake up every morning and rub my belly as if I was pregnant, and practically cry when I realize I’m not. I want to stop taking my BC… but at the same time I don’t want to lie to my boyfriend. HE is so sweet and caring, and says he wants to be a daddy, but at the same time not taking my birth control is like lying to him… just please someone help!!!

Answer #1

You said you’re pregnant now but indicated you want to stop taking BC ?? - nothing at all wrong with wanting to be a Mom in an established, loving home - you don’t have to buy into ‘you must have a degree and career outside the home to have any value’ - that’s a lie - I wish you every happiness !!

Answer #2

sorry to be b*tchy, but I heard all the same “promises” from my exs mom and had all the same “hopes and dreams”. I know you don’t have to be married or engaged or anything of the sorts these days to have a kid. i thought i knew the world, and then i had a baby. my friends have had babies. My parents REFUSED to help with my son (watching him so I could go out- even for dinner). My other friends parents would help with their kids and now looking how everyone turned out-it made me more responsible and the worst thing i see today is people dumping their babies with their parents claiming that they have no life. I know i don’t know you, but i have this “motherly” love for everyone and don’t want things to end up bad for anyone. Sorry to have been so harsh last night but it was only like the 20th I want to have a baby story and it gets tiring repeating yourself after awhile.. good luck with the baby and i hope you end up with a beautiful healthy child

Answer #3

You really should think about why you want a baby. The feelings may be more than wanting a cute baby. It maybe that you think the baby will make you feel loved or maybe feeling an emptiness in your life or maybe you want the attention that comes with being pregnant. But those are not the reasons to want to have a baby. You should find ways of obtaining you own happiness. You want to be ready when you have a baby and stable emotionally because babies can come with even more stressed and if your already depressed things may become worse. Then the baby suffers for no reason. So take care of yourself first. Eat right sleep right and try to get rid of some of that distress and get an education so you can provide for you baby. Then when you think your ready and you have a responsible partner who alos wants a baby…then have a baby. :)

Answer #4

You are really young to have a baby. I’d suggest waiting a few years. I know it can be very frustrating but what you need right now is motivation and support, and a baby will not fill the emptiness you feel inside of you. You know when the time’s ready when you are emotionally stable and you don’t seem to be.

Answer #5

I understand– and thank you for the advice. I also was just being overly sensitive last night for some reason. I’m not pregnant– and have plenty of time to think it over and have ended up coming to the conclusion that it isnt fair to myself, my boyfriend, or the baby to have one at this time. I hope things get better for you– you do sound like a good mom!

Answer #6

hey everyone. Thanks for your advice. I just wanted to let you know that I have decided to stay on my BC and not try to get pregnant. Despite the fact that I want one, now is not a good time and it just wouldn’t be fair to my boyfriend or the baby. But once again thanks for all your help!

Answer #7

I want a baby really bad as well, but you’r life seems to be going for you otherwise, making the deans list, thats really good, atleast finish up your education, then use it to make good money, and then have a baby, BUT dont lie to your boyfriend, he might regret having a baby and then blame you when things go bad (kids arent always sweet and cute etc. lol)

Answer #8

You must have gone and lost your damn mind. Why would you want to do that? Just because you’ve been with this guy for 14 months you “assume” he’s going to be with you forever? Honey- young love is not forever and you’ll be standing there holding a baby and crying about child support. I hate to be rude and harsh but that is reality. You will throw your life away. Wait until you are out of school and have a job. Once you have a baby there is no more “going out” “hanging out” doing anything anymore. that baby will be your responsiblity, one that you can’t pass off to someone else so you can go “be a normal girl”. its not like a dog. You just don’t realize what you’re getting into. AND yes, I do know what the hell I am talking about.

Answer #9

Alright… talk about no need to be B*tchy but lol I’m not stupid. I was totally aware of how everything could play out. My boyfriend and I will hopefully be getting engaged soon… and just an fyi his mom already told him she would make sure that if we were to have a child, even if things dont go well with us then she would make sure he paid child support etc etc (and from someone who knows her– she has her ways). I am fully aware that I child is not a dog. I have been helping with relatives babies/ kids since I was 9. I am NOT STUPID– so theres no need to talk to me like I am. Just a thought … I do appreciate your advice but at the same time I do not like to feel attacked

Answer #10

Wanting a baby is natural. Finish up school then get maried and have a famly. I’m sure the depression is only because you want a baby so badly. If you have a baby while still in school then there will be too much stress and if your depression isn’t about the baby then you might run the risk of killing yourself. Please be careful and do what you think is right for you and the baby (which isn’t here yet).

Answer #11

Dear wanabpunk16, Depression can make one have irrational thinking…this is what you are experiencing now. Please do not make the mistake of going off the pill. You need to see a counsellor ASAP. Depression can get worse after you have a child and this may end up with you not being able to bond with this child. Causing you to think just the opposite after the baby is born feeling that you don’t even want the child. I strongly urge you to get some professional help. Sue…good luck

Answer #12

i believe you should wait until you are financially stable. I’m 22 and want a baby sooo bad, i’ve been with my BF for almost 3 years now but his little sis who is barley 18 and brother who is 22 both have babies don’t have any college eds and seem to be struggling, but i haven’t even started college yet! I recommend that you baby sit a friends baby for a week or so, and i don’t me toddler i mean take an infant for a week or two see if you can handle the stress. Babies are great but they cost LOTS of money and take up all of ur time. think long term and not right now.

Answer #13

Remember that no matter what decreasto say ‘Babies alone make momy want to kill somthing’

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